Today’s schools should teach their students how to survive financially in the world today. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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As the developments of economic and information technology shift quickly, it is more important for young people than before to follow the news about these.
While
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providing these economic
courses
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would cause schools, which have already supplied various classes (including medicine, mathematics, chemistry, etc.), to overreach, educational institutions should introduce different sorts of financial
courses
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to help students establish relevant knowledge.
Therefore
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, I totally agree that the educational system should have
such
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useful
courses
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. The young need to have opportunities to realize how to deal with and manage their finance in the future,
this
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subject matter,
however
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, presents a conundrum. Educational institutions have been overworked, because they need to provide a range of disciplines,
for example
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, art, music,or physical education, apart from core curriculum (linguistics, physics, or philosophy).
This
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situation can be attributed to numerous educators asserting that school plays a role which is required to reach a lot of goals,
for instance
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, fostering critical thinking and curiosity, teaching subjects that may not be immediately applicable after graduation, and cultivating open-minded and well-informed citizens.
Therefore
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, most of the institutions have a heavy budget for these, which means, employing economics or financial specialists would impose more stress on the school.
Furthermore
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, even if schools are able to introduce
this
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content in their new
courses
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, students should take extra time to register them.
That is
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to say, those needing to work
while
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pursuing academics may not have a chance to take these classes.
Although
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,
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apply
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there are too many challenges we face to implement these ideas, there are many successful examples around the world.
First,
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the Taiwan government introduce these subjects to the community. In these
courses
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, teenagers can discuss politics and finance with one another, thereby enhancing their preparedness for real-world challenges.
Also
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, in the European Union, many countries are obligated to provide students with economy classes in primary schools. One study indicated that
this
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policy significantly increased young people's economic literacy in these areas,
in contrast
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, those who did not have
this
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regulation did not find any improvement in
this
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aspect. In conclusion, requiring educational systems to introduce financially relevant
courses
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is difficult in some countries.
Nevertheless
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, it is worth encouraging young people to absorb financial information.

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task achievement
Clarify your main argument in the introduction and make it explicit. It’s important to state your position clearly and directly support it throughout the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure every paragraph clearly relates to the main argument by using topic sentences that reflect the content of the paragraph. This will help improve the overall coherence of your essay.
task achievement
Expand on your ideas with more detailed explanations. Some points could benefit from further development to strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words and phrases to enhance the flow between sentences and paragraphs, making it easier for readers to follow your argument.
structure
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which helps with overall readability.
examples
You provided some relevant examples from Taiwan and the EU that enhance your argument for introducing financial courses in schools.
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