Today’s schools should teach their students how to survive financially in the world today. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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As the developments of economic and information technology shift quickly, it is more important for young people than before to follow the news about these.

While

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providing these economic

courses

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would cause schools, which have already supplied various classes (including medicine, mathematics, chemistry, etc.), to overreach, educational institutions should introduce different sorts of financial

courses

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to help students establish relevant knowledge.

Therefore

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, I totally agree that the educational system should have

such

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useful

courses

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. The young need to have opportunities to realize how to deal with and manage their finance in the future,

this

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subject matter,

however

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, presents a conundrum. Educational institutions have been overworked, because they need to provide a range of disciplines,

for example

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, art, music,or physical education, apart from core curriculum (linguistics, physics, or philosophy).

This

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situation can be attributed to numerous educators asserting that school plays a role which is required to reach a lot of goals,

for instance

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, fostering critical thinking and curiosity, teaching subjects that may not be immediately applicable after graduation, and cultivating open-minded and well-informed citizens.

Therefore

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, most of the institutions have a heavy budget for these, which means, employing economics or financial specialists would impose more stress on the school.

Furthermore

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, even if schools are able to introduce

this

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content in their new

courses

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, students should take extra time to register them.

That is

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to say, those needing to work

while

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pursuing academics may not have a chance to take these classes.

Although

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apply

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there are too many challenges we face to implement these ideas, there are many successful examples around the world.

First,

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the Taiwan government introduce these subjects to the community. In these

courses

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, teenagers can discuss politics and finance with one another, thereby enhancing their preparedness for real-world challenges.

Also

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, in the European Union, many countries are obligated to provide students with economy classes in primary schools. One study indicated that

this

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policy significantly increased young people's economic literacy in these areas,

in contrast

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, those who did not have

this

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regulation did not find any improvement in

this

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aspect. In conclusion, requiring educational systems to introduce financially relevant

courses

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is difficult in some countries.

Nevertheless

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, it is worth encouraging young people to absorb financial information.

a0981247163Wed Mar 19 2025

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task achievement

Clarify your main argument in the introduction and make it explicit. It’s important to state your position clearly and directly support it throughout the essay.

coherence and cohesion

Make sure every paragraph clearly relates to the main argument by using topic sentences that reflect the content of the paragraph. This will help improve the overall coherence of your essay.

task achievement

Expand on your ideas with more detailed explanations. Some points could benefit from further development to strengthen your argument.

coherence and cohesion

Use linking words and phrases to enhance the flow between sentences and paragraphs, making it easier for readers to follow your argument.

structure

Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which helps with overall readability.

examples

You provided some relevant examples from Taiwan and the EU that enhance your argument for introducing financial courses in schools.

14
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

366 words

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Today’s schools should teach their students how to survive financially in the world today. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people think that a high salary is the most important factor when choosing a company to work for, while others think that a good working atmosphere is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Employer some time ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies, and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant or useful. Others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why this is the case? What can be done about this p

As transport and accommodation problems are increasing in many cities, some governments encourage businesses to move to rural areas. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?