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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some college freshmen find that the courses they choose are not suitable for them. What are the causes of this?What can be done to solve the problem?

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Some college
students
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 who just started their studies are not satisfied with their
courses
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 and believe that they do not suit them.
This
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 essay will explore why
this
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 is the case and propose several measures that can be taken to tackle
this
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 problem. One major cause of
this
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 phenomenon is a poor educational background.
That is
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 to say, many
high-school
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high school
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students
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 tend to prepare for general examinations
such
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 as
GMAT
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the GMAT
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 or SAT, neglecting subjects that are connected to their future major.
As a result
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, when they
finally
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 enter their colleges, they struggle to study their main
courseworks
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coursework
 as they lack specific preparation and basic
knowledge
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necesary
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necessary
 for studying. Another contributing factor is their
courses
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 that may seem
to
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too
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 difficult to study compared to other majors. At
colleges
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college
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, they make new friends and learn about other specializations from them. In some cases, they begin to believe that they have chosen the wrong path
that is
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 hard to study and is not worth their efforts. To address
this
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 issue, colleges could incorporate preparatory
courses
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 to help
students
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 strengthen their foundational
knowledge
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 before starting their major coursework. These
courses
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 would provide narrowly specialized
knowledge
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 for
students
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 necessary in their
further
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 education and enable them to try other disciplines to find the most suitable one for them.
Furthermore
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, the introduction of additional entry tests that would evaluate
students
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'
knowledge
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 in their target disciplines is another possible solution. Take Khalifa University in Abu Dhabi as an example.
In addition
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 to the general SAT, they often ask their
students
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 to take specialized subject tests to assess their
knowledge
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 in their future major.
To conclude
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, there are several distinct reasons why some freshmen regret choosing their coursework.
First,
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they focus more on how to get admitted to the college rather than on the process of education, lacking foundational
knowledge
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 in their coursework fields.
Secondly
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, they start to think that their major is the hardest compared to others.
Nevertheless
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, there are several solutions to
this
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 problem
such
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 as the incorporation of preparatory
courses
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 for freshmen and additional subject tests to evaluate their
speicific
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specific
knowledge
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.

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Task Achievement
While your introduction is clear and defines the essay's focus well, consider mentioning the significance of this issue briefly to engage the reader further.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a logical flow, and the paragraphs are organized effectively. However, use more linking phrases (e.g., 'Additionally', 'Moreover') to enhance the connection between ideas.
Task Achievement
In your second body paragraph, be more explicit about the students’ perceptions of difficulty. Explain how this affects their satisfaction, which would enhance the depth of your main points.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, making it easy to follow.
Task Achievement
You provided relevant examples, such as the reference to Khalifa University, which enhances your argument and shows awareness of real-world practices.
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