IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that instead of preventing climate change, we need to find a way to live with it. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge knowledge and experience.

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These days
climate
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change
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 has become
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 controversial issue.
While
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 some argue that we should
getting
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get
be getting
show examples
along with
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 it, I completely disagree with
this
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 assertion and believe that adapting to
this
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 difficulty can not only exacerbate global warming but
also
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 bring additional ecological challenges.
Firstly
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, adaptability to
climate
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change
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 means significantly deteriorated global warming.
In other words
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, taking any measure to adjust to exponentially warmed weather requires consuming more fossil fuels, resulting in a substantial increase in greenhouse gas emissions.
For instance
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, coping with
climate
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change
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 demands installing more air conditioners, and seeding clouds to compensate for a lack of precipitation. Another example of
this
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 is constructing dams and reservoirs in coastal cities
such
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 as Florida or Spain to prevent submerging
such
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 lands
as a result
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 of melted polar ice and climbing water levels of oceans. Admittedly,
although
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 these approaches can mitigate the negative impacts of
climate
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change
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 superficially, they are unlikely to eradicate adverse and profound consequences. Beyond deteriorated global warming, the ecosystem cycle will be disrupted if
climate
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change
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 is not addressed effectively and profoundly. Implementing the mentioned measures to become adjusted to the modified
climate
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 necessitates interference in the natural order of the world, jeopardizing many animals' and plants' lives. To illustrate
this
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, the silver iodide used in the process of creating synthetic rain and snow has contaminated the environment, leading to the extinction of some plants. These negative consequences highlight the importance of taking substantial steps toward dealing with
climate
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change
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 directly.
To conclude
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, I strongly believe that finding a way to live with
climate
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change
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 can
further
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 deteriorate the situation and disrupt the ecosystem.
Therefore
Linking Words
, stemming the causes of
this
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 issue and solving them is more advisable.

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Task Response
Your introduction clearly states your position, which is great. However, consider revising the phrase 'an controversial issue' to 'a controversial issue' for grammatical accuracy. Additionally, rephrase 'getting along with it' to 'adapting to it' for clarity.
Coherence and Cohesion
In the body paragraphs, try to enhance the linking of your ideas. While your arguments are logical, using more cohesive devices (like 'firstly', 'secondly', 'in addition') can help the flow of your essay. For example, between your examples and main points, explicitly linking them could strengthen your argumentation.
Task Achievement
Your essay presents a clear stance against adapting to climate change, and you effectively supported your views with relevant examples.
Task Achievement
You provided specific examples related to the environmental impact of climate change, which demonstrates good understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • climate change
  • prevent
  • adaptation
  • mitigation
  • cope with
  • effects
  • shift
  • mindset
  • lifestyle
  • balance
  • invest
  • research
  • technology
  • crucial
  • education
  • awareness
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