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Writing Samples
Band 7

In the past, when students did a university degree, they tended to study in their own country. Nowadays, they have more opportunity to study abroad. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development? Use your own ideas, knowledge and experience to support your arguments

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In the past, most
students
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 preferred to study in their own country for higher education.
However
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, today, many
students
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 choose to study abroad because they have more opportunities. Studying abroad has both advantages and disadvantages, which will be discussed in
this
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 essay. One major advantage of studying abroad is that
students
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 can experience a different culture. They learn new traditions, languages, and lifestyles, which helps them to become more open-minded.
For example
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, a student from Mongolia studying in Italy will understand Italian customs and language, making them more culturally aware.
This
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 can
also
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 help
students
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 develop international connections, which can be useful for their careers in the future. Another benefit is that
students
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 often receive a higher quality of education. Some universities abroad have better facilities, experienced professors, and advanced technology.
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,
students
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 studying medicine in Germany may have access to better hospitals and research opportunities compared to their home country.
This
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 can improve their knowledge and skills, making them more competitive in the job market.
However
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, studying abroad
also
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 has disadvantages. One major problem is the high cost. Tuition fees, living expenses, and travel costs can be expensive. Many
students
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 take loans or depend on their parents, which can create financial stress.
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, an international student in the UK may have to work part-time to cover expenses, which can affect their studies. Another disadvantage is homesickness and cultural shock. Being away from family and friends can be difficult for
students
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. Some
students
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 struggle to adapt to a new culture, language, or food.
This
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 can lead to stress and loneliness, affecting their mental health and academic performance. In conclusion, studying abroad provides
students
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 with cultural experiences and better education, but it
also
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 has challenges
such
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 as high costs and homesickness.
Students
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 should carefully consider both advantages and disadvantages before deciding to study abroad.

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Task Achievement
The essay presents a clear argument with identifiable advantages and disadvantages of studying abroad. Ensure that all points are fully developed with thorough explanations.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider adding transitional phrases between paragraphs to enhance the flow of ideas. This will improve the overall coherence of the essay.
Task Achievement
In the body paragraphs, you could elaborate more on personal experiences or hypothetical examples to strengthen your points further.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction sets a clear context for the discussion, and the conclusion effectively summarizes the key points.
Task Achievement
The essay effectively outlines cultural experiences and educational quality as major advantages, which are relevant and insightful.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Globalization
  • Cultural assimilation
  • Academic mobility
  • Cross-cultural
  • Language proficiency
  • Internationalization of education
  • Diaspora
  • Expat community
  • Pedagogic methodologies
  • Cultural literacy
  • Foreign academic credentials
  • Educational disparity
  • Repatriation
  • Xenophobia
  • Ethnocentric perspectives
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