Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is unquestionable that rising unemployment is one of the most pressing issues in the industrial world. One solution that has been put forward is to cut the working week to a maximum of 35 hours.
However
Linking Words
, in my
view
Add a comma
view,
show examples
this
Linking Words
solution is rather controversial and other solutions need to be found. It is fairly easy to understand the reasons why
this
Linking Words
proposal has been made. The reasoning is that if
workers
Use synonyms
are not allowed to work for more than 35 hours weekly,
then
Linking Words
employers will be forced to engage more staff. There would be at least two advantages to
this
Linking Words
. Not only would unemployment be reduced, but the working conditions of employees on very long shifts would
also
Linking Words
be significantly improved.
For example
Linking Words
, a factory employing 300 manual
workers
Use synonyms
doing 10 hours a day might employ 450
workers
Use synonyms
. There is
also
Linking Words
,
however
Linking Words
, a strong argument not to implement
this
Linking Words
proposal.
This
Linking Words
argument is based on economic competitiveness. If a company was forced to employ more
workers
Use synonyms
to produce the same amount of goods,
then
Linking Words
its wage bill would rise and its products might become more expensive and less competitive compared to companies with longer working weeks. In
this
Linking Words
case, it is possible that the company either might become insolvent or it would have to make some employees redundant.
As a result
Linking Words
, the intended benefit to the personnel would not happen. In summary, we can see that
this
Linking Words
is clearly a complex issue as there are significant advantages and disadvantages to the proposal. My own personal view is that it would be better not to introduce the shortened working week because it works only in theory and not in practice.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Consider elaborating further on your personal opinion to strengthen the argument in the conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to clearly outline both sides before offering your own opinion to enhance the logical flow.
content
The essay presents a clear understanding of the complexity of the issue and balances both views effectively.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovation
  • productivity
  • excel
  • outperform
  • advancements
  • academic standards
  • work ethic
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • unhealthy rivalries
  • harmonious
  • supportive
  • collaborative learning
  • social skills
  • communication skills
  • sense of community
  • collective goals
What to do next:
Look at other essays: