IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The internet provide us with information about life and culture of different countries and some people say it is not necessary to visit these countries to learn about them. To what extend do you agree and disagree with the statement? Give your opinion and relevant example.

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Some people argue that they do not have to study about other
countries
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through
Change preposition
by
show examples
 visiting them because there is an enormous amount of
information
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 about the life and culture of those
countries
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 published on the
internet
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. I firmly disagree with
this
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 statement because the
information
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 provided is not the whole truth and in-person
experiences
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 are totally different. One of the reasons why I believe that consuming
information
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 from the
internet
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 is not enough is online platforms are places allowing everyone to share ideas, probably leading to misleading
information
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. Governments and their citizens tend to post only good aspects of their
countries
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 in order to promote their nations and cultures, omitting their negative sides.
Moreover
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, as the world has rapidly changed over time, that
information
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 might be outdated.
For example
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, I used to believe that discipline was one of the key characteristics of Japanese people. Unfortunately, I figured out that
this
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 is not always true after I met a Japanese man who usually came to work late. Another reason is the
information
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 available on the websites might not reflect real
experiences
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, especially cultures.
Food
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 is one of the good examples.
Although
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 photos taken can show its appearance and reviews written on the
internet
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 can explain its taste, experiencing real meals is completely different.
Additionally
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, weather and environment
also
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 influence eating
experiences
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.
For instance
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, I could not imagine how salty Georgian
food
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 was until I tasted the local
food
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 when I visited Georgia. I
also
Linking Words
 realized that local citizens love drinking warm wine because of the cold weather. In conclusion, some people believe that visiting other
countries
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 is no longer needed as the
Internet
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 plays an important role in offering
information
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 about different cultures and lives. I strongly disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement because the
information
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 provided might not be able to reflect all perspectives and it might not be up to date. Visiting real places
also
Linking Words
 gives different
experiences
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,
food
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 tasting
in particular
Linking Words
.

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Coherence and Cohesion
To improve your score, ensure each paragraph relates clearly to your thesis. Sometimes there are slight jumps in topics that could confuse readers.
Task Achievement
Include a stronger concluding statement that summarizes your main points and reiterates your stance clearly.
Task Achievement
Your introduction clearly outlines your disagreement with the statement, setting a strong foundation for your essay.
Task Achievement
You provide relevant examples that illustrate your points well, making your argument relatable and understandable.
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