Many people are now opting to provide technology companies with personal data in exchange for access to software. Do the advantages of this approach outweigh its disadvantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Yes, the advantages outweigh the disadvantages of providing technology companies with personal data in exchange for access to online

software

Use synonyms

services, because people benefit from various online materials

such

Linking Words

as online financial management and communication via the internet, and the risk of leakage of important

information

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is minimized by countermeasures. There are some risks of leaking

information

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such

Linking Words

as private and confidential

information

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when you provide personal data to a certain company

instead

Linking Words

of using

software

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materials; there are online hackers around everywhere and they always seeking ways to steal

such

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important

information

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through the personal accounts of individuals once they successfully gain personal names, call numbers, or email addresses they use that

information

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to make a profit or fraud and telemarketing calls.

For instance

Linking Words

, there have been several cases of cyber terrorism toward bank accounts, and sometimes, people lose money because of falling into a rabbit hole of fraud or are annoyed by tenacious telemarketing calls afterwards.

However

Linking Words

, these problems can be fought back against by security reinforcement and caution notifications for customers.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, we benefit a lot from various kinds of online

software

Use synonyms

content both in our lives and work styles; online financial management and communication via the Internet have made our daily lives much easier and made our working hours shorter than before.

For example

Linking Words

, we can manage bank accounts online, purchase almost anything online, and even work at home without commuting, which has created more leisure time for many people.

Likewise

Linking Words

, through various kinds of services, our lives and working environment have been dramatically improved to the extent we cannot do without them. In conclusion, the advantages of gaining easy access to many types of

software

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far outweigh the disadvantages of

information

Use synonyms

leakage

such

Linking Words

as fraud and telemarketing calls because these problems are manageable by reinforcement of cyber security and notification for customers.

kana_ayakiWed Sep 04 2024

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coherence cohesion

Your essay would benefit from a clearer distinction between advantages and disadvantages in separate paragraphs. This would enhance clarity and make your argument more compelling.

task achievement

While you have provided relevant examples, incorporating more specific statistics or studies would lend greater weight to your argument.

coherence cohesion

Try to vary your sentence structures a bit more. This not only makes your writing more engaging but also demonstrates a higher level of linguistic proficiency.

introduction conclusion

Your introduction and conclusion are strong, clearly indicating your position on the topic.

clear comprehensive ideas

You have effectively communicated your main points and provided relevant examples, which contributes positively to the overall task achievement.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – advantages
Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

The main advantage is...
The disadvantage of this...
The main benefit...
Despite these advantages...
One possible drawback...

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

310 words

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Many people are now opting to provide technology companies with personal data in exchange for access to software. Do the advantages of this approach outweigh its disadvantages?

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

Many people who care for the elderly do not have enough time to look after them. What are the problems related to this? What are some possible solutions?

Some people say that the computer is an integral part of modern education. Everything can be taught and learnt better. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that playing games can be bad for children. Others say that playing computer games can have positive effects on the way children develop. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

in some coutries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. to what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people say that schools should concentrate on teaching students academic subjects that will be useful for their future careers. Other say that subjects such as music and sports are also necessary. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.