IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Last month you had a holiday overseas where you stayed with a friend. He/She has just sent you some photos of your holiday. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter ● thank him/her for the photos and for the holiday ● explain why you didn’t write earlier ● invite them to come and stay with you

#month #holiday #friend #photos #didn’t
Dear John, I hope you are doing great, I have just seen our photos and I have to admit you are a very talented photographer. The photos are great, so first of all, I want to thank you very much for
this
 gift.
Additionally
, I am very grateful because in my opinion photos are the best souvenirs. I am very sorry I did not write earlier, but I had some problems with my computer and my email didn't work properly. I had to wait until my brother was able to help me and fix
this
 problem because my technology knowledge was dramatically low. I have a special proposition for you! I want to invite you to visit me here in New York and stay in my place for a
while
. I am sure we will have a great time together,
furthermore
, I have made a list already, so you have no choice. I'm looking forward to hearing from you, and I can't wait when you to visit me. Best Wishes, Derek
Submitted by dariusz.slusar on

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coherence cohesion
Your letter is mostly well-organized, but consider breaking one of your paragraphs into two to clearly separate ideas about the photos and your invitation.
task achievement
While you have addressed all the points effectively, you might want to elaborate a bit more on each point for greater detail.
task achievement
You have a friendly and appropriate tone throughout the letter.
coherence cohesion
Your letter opens and closes well, with a clear greeting and closing.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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