IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their communities. This is good for the individuals concerned and society as a whole. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view? Discuss, based on your knowledge and experience.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
According to
Linking Words
 some communities, outstanding
work
Use synonyms
 should be placed by youth.
This
Linking Words
 could be useful for the people concerned and society as well,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
 there will
also
Linking Words
 be some drawbacks. On the one hand, by doing unpaid
work
Use synonyms
, teenagers can develop a sense of responsibility and learn the value of hard
work
Use synonyms
.
In other words
Linking Words
, teens who do
voluntaary
Correct your spelling
voluntary
work
Use synonyms
 can help them build time-management skills and
becoming
Wrong verb form
become
show examples
 more disciplined. Another reason that
youngs
Correct your spelling
young
show examples
work
Use synonyms
 as
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
free
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
 would be advantageous is that they can improve their social skills and empathy. Volunteering or working in the community exposes
younsters
Correct your spelling
youngsters
 to people from diverse
bacgrounds
Correct your spelling
backgrounds
,
understading
Correct your spelling
understanding
 and social responsibility.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are obvious downsides to encouraging youth to strive for payable
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, teenagers may not always be able to offer the same level of skills and
dedications
Fix the agreement mistake
dedication
show examples
 as
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
adult
Fix the agreement mistake
adults
show examples
. It would mean that requiring minors to do
work
Use synonyms
 without compensation could lead to lower-quality service, especially, if the
work
Use synonyms
 is not related to their future careers or plans.
Secondly
Linking Words
, it would result in taking away time from their studies, activities and rest.
This
Linking Words
 could lead to stress or a lack of academic focus which is more important in
theire
Correct your spelling
their
 early ages as they prepare for higher
educations
Fix the agreement mistake
education
show examples
.
To sum up
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 there are plus points to attract teens for
work
Use synonyms
 without pay, too much will be lost
as a result
Linking Words
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Consider providing a clearer thesis statement in your introduction that outlines your position on the topic more directly.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure your paragraphs start with a clear topic sentence that encapsulates the main idea of the paragraph to improve coherence.
coherence and cohesion
Check for spelling errors (e.g., 'voluntary' instead of 'voluntaary', 'younger' instead of 'youngs', 'backgrounds' instead of 'bacgrounds', 'understanding' instead of 'understading', etc.) to enhance the overall clarity of your writing.
task achievement
You presented both sides of the argument, which shows an ability to engage with differing perspectives.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points discussed in the essay, which is essential for a strong finish.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Unpaid work
  • Community service
  • Individuals
  • Society
  • Responsibility
  • Empathy
  • Valuable skills
  • Experiences
  • Strong community
  • Well-being
  • Career opportunities
What to do next:
Look at other essays: