Shopping is the favorite past-time activity for most of the young people. Why do you think is that? Do you think they should be encouraged to do some other useful activities?

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It is generally observed that the majority of youngsters prefer to go shopping in their leisure time.
This
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is mainly
due to
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the influence of social media.
However
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, I believe that it is beneficial for them if they do take part in valuable engagements. The key reason why young people go shopping to pass their free time is the dominance of social media channels, as it is observed that there are numerous advertisements appearing on social websites namely Instagram, Facebook, and so on, which manipulate the youth towards them and they have the desire to purchase things yet if they have no money. Ultimately, they spend their leisure time to do shopping.
Moreover
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, today's generation is tech-savvy, and the convenience of online shopping combined with fast delivery options makes shopping more accessible and appealing.
Furthermore
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, most of the parents have disposable income. Because of
this
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, their children have the ability to spend more freely on acquiring things.
Although
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shopping is an enjoyable activity, engaging in productive endeavours brings numerous benefits. First of all, doing exercises or taking part in workouts strengthens
the
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apply
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mental and physical health.
That is
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why it is important for parents that they should motivate their children to do useful activities. Another significance of beneficial tasks is young people can become socialized because when they do outdoor activities
such
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as sports, painting, and walking, they meet people with different natures. By virtue of
this
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, they can not only enhance their knowledge but
also
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improve their well-rounded development.
Apart from
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this
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, juveniles have an opportunity to become skilled in a particular field and get success in future.
To sum up
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, the persuasive of social networking and discretionary income has a great impact on adults. But I suppose that parents have the responsibility to motivate them to do beneficial tasks and teach them about the value of money.

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task achievement
Consider elaborating on the influence of social media with more specific examples or statistics to strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use more transition words to help guide the reader through the points and improve the flow of ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to maintain a consistent tone and tense throughout the essay. For instance, check the use of present and past tenses.
task achievement
The essay presents clear arguments regarding the impact of social media and parental influence.
coherence and cohesion
Effective use of complex sentences and varied vocabulary enhances engagement.
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