Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in teams, like football, while other people think that taking part in individual sports, like tennis or swimming, is better. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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A few individuals believe that it is more useful to play team sports,
such
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as football,basketball or volleyball,
while
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others argue that being individual athletes is more beneficial. Both views have their merits, as teams can create an atmosphere where a person can socialise and learn other valuable skills ,
however
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, individual players focus only on personal achievement and self-discipline, and the essay will discuss them before presenting my own opinion.
To begin
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with, being part of a team helps people develop essential skills like cooperation, effective communication and working together towards a common goal.
That is
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to say, these sports promote a feeling of friendship and community, allowing players to build lasting relationships.
For example
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, Neymar and Philippe Coutinho
are
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have been
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very good friends since they were children. In 2008, they played together in the streets and after they grew up both becoming footballers helped them to strengthen their friendship.
On the other hand
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, individual sports lead to a stronger sense of personal development and achievement, as individuals can see the immediate impact of their efforts.
Furthermore
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, athletes who compete individually are responsible for their own success or failure, which can foster a strong sense of accountability and resilience.
For instance
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, an interview was taken with Michael Phelps has shown his opinion of the results of his competitions, where he mentioned that a swimmer training for a competition is solely responsible for their progress. Every improvement in their time or technique is a direct result of their dedication and hard work. In conclusion, both types of athletics have their values.
Hence
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, in the first
choice
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choice,
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people will be more friendly,
socialistic
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and socialistic
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and will be able to work in groups,
however
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, playing alone would be a helper for having focus only on themselves and immediately seeing the results of their work. In my opinion, these two options are beneficial in their own way.

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Task Achievement
Your essay presents a clear discussion of both views, but make sure to elaborate on how these views impact the individual's experience in sports for a more comprehensive response.
Coherence and Cohesion
The structure is mostly clear, but connecting ideas more smoothly between sentences and paragraphs would improve overall coherence. Consider using more linking phrases.
Task Achievement
While you provided relevant examples, ensure they are clearly tied back to the main argument. This will reinforce how they support your points.
Task Achievement
You presented relevant examples from well-known athletes, which adds credibility to your points and makes your arguments more relatable.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has good topic sentences that outline the main idea of each paragraph, making it easier for the reader to follow your argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • cooperation
  • team spirit
  • sense of belonging
  • community
  • leadership
  • trust
  • collective responsibility
  • dependency
  • self-reliance
  • self-discipline
  • goal setting
  • tailored development
  • flexibility
  • social support
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