Buying things on the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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In our contemporary society, the world has numerous opportunities for humans, including online shopping.
Also
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, Buying products online,
such
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as books, groceries, tools, etc., is becoming more popular. From my standpoint,
this
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is profoundly advantageous for human life. In the upcoming paragraphs,
this
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essay will elaborate on
this
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topic and discuss the pros and cons of
this
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phenomenon. First and foremost, Shopping online has been beneficial since the invention of the
internet
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because it is the easiest way to reach daily needs...
For instance
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, clothes, food, etc.
Furthermore
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, buying things on the
Internet
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has become more prevalent day by day. Many people argue that
this
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is effective because the
internet
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has a lot of websites that allow humans to get something quickly.
Moreover
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, humans do not need to go outside to buy anything. They can reach a lot of options on one screen. With these applications, humankind does not have to be exhausted with shopping.
Conversely
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, others argue that shopping online has countless defects in modern life, one of which local shops can mitigate because of the lack of customers.
Nevertheless
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, local shop owners can fix
this
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issue. They might establish their online platforms to reduce the impact on the shopping firms.
On the other hand
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, if they attend vast platforms, they can have an extra revenue source. Briefly, the
Internet
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can not be rejected because it plays a crucial role in our lives, making our lives easier with shopping opportunities.
To conclude
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,
this
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has sparked significant problems, and balancing these two perspectives is a complex challenge but not impossible. Sometimes, people can use online platforms and may use local stores.

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task response
Your introduction sets a good foundation, but it could benefit from a clearer thesis statement, directly addressing the advantages and disadvantages of online shopping. Consider revising it to explicitly state your argument regarding whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
task response
While you have some good points, the development of each idea could be stronger. For instance, elaborating on specific examples of the advantages of online shopping, such as convenience and cost-effectiveness, would strengthen your argument. Providing a bit more detail would help support your main points better.
coherence and cohesion
The transition between paragraphs could be smoother. Using connecting phrases or sentences that link your ideas will help the overall flow of the essay. For example, when moving from the advantages to the disadvantages, consider a transition that clearly marks this shift.
coherence and cohesion
In your conclusion, while you seem to acknowledge both sides, it may come off as somewhat vague. You might want to summarize your main points more clearly and restate your position on whether you believe the advantages outweigh the disadvantages more definitively.
task response
You've demonstrated a clear understanding of the topic and presented both sides of the argument, which is crucial for a balanced essay. Your intention to explore both advantages and disadvantages is commendable.
task response
Your use of examples from everyday life, like clothes and food, is relatable and helps to ground your essay in real-world scenarios, making it easier for readers to connect with your points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • convenience
  • time-saving
  • wide selection
  • competitive prices
  • discounts
  • accessibility
  • global marketplace
  • availability
  • fraud
  • scams
  • lack of
  • physical interaction
  • personal experience
  • impersonal
  • customer service
  • delays
  • delivery
  • return process
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