IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

You recently did a short cookery course. The cookery school has asked for your feedback on this course. Write a letter to the course director at the cookery school. In your letter Describe what you enjoyed about the course ' Say how much cooking you have done since the course Suggest another cookery course you would like the school to offer.

Dear Sir, Hope you are doing great, as
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 received an email from you that, you need feedback from me about the cooking lessons I have taken from your school. All the lectures were great and the practical classes were
also
Linking Words
 fabulous and knowledgeable. In the classes I enjoyed a lot because I have a keen interest in making food, all the lessons were decent and elaborated on the details of cooking.
Moreover
Linking Words
, I
also
Linking Words
 gained knowledge about the presentation of food, which gives the real satisfaction.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, after cookery lessons, I never go to a restaurant on the weekend, as I normally go, Know I prepare my healthy and decent meals at home without any hesitation.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, my family
also
Linking Words
 appreciate me when I do cooking on weekends.
Overall
Linking Words
, my experience with your institute was great, and now after one month, I feel that I want classes for cake making
also
Linking Words
. It's
also
Linking Words
 my suggestion to you that, please
also
Linking Words
 add
this
Linking Words
 new course to your list on weekends or evenings. I am looking forward to hearing from you. Your's faithfully Manpreet Singh

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
Ensure to add a clear introduction and conclusion to improve the letter's structure.
task achievement
Try to use more varied vocabulary and sentence structures to enhance your writing style.
task achievement
The letter has a friendly tone, which suits the context of feedback.
task achievement
Your enthusiasm for cooking comes through, making the feedback engaging.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: