IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Eating balanced diet is the most important factor for a healthy life. To what extent do you agree?

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Balanced
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A balanced
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diet
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 is defined as
the
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a
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diet
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 containing
right
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the right
a right
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 amount of every nutrient in order to support
growth
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the growth
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 and development of individuals. In my opinion,
balanced
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a balanced
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diet
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 is essential for leading a healthy
life
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 to some extent but it is not the most important factor as there are other important components too which are equally important to lead a healthy
life
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.
Furthermore
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, some people strongly believe that
balanced
Correct article usage
a balanced
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diet
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 is the only thing important for a healthy
life
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.
For instance
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, the energy a person has for the whole day depends on the amount and type of food consumed. Individuals need to consume the required amount of food to work effectively and efficiently.
As well as
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 people have a perspective that eating
balanced
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a balanced
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diet
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 will protect them from diseases because by consuming
hygienic
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a hygienic
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 and balanced
diet
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 their immune system will become stronger and will be able to defend them against diseases.
However
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, some people think that
along with
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 a balanced
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diet
Add a comma
diet,
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 there are other factors
also
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 which hold immense importance in one's
life
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.
For example
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, Physical activity is vital for a healthy
life
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. Staying active, by avoiding a sedentary lifestyle, strengthens the body and makes it more resistant to illness.
Likewise
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, adequate sleep is
also
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 crucial for health as it
effects
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affects
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 the daily activities of individuals. Obviously, a well-rested person is able to do his work with full concentration and enthusiasm
unlike
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, unlike
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 a person who has had inadequate sleep. In conclusion, even though consuming a balanced
diet
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 is essential for living a healthy
life
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but
Correct word choice
apply
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other factors should
also
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 be taken into consideration.
Therefore
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, factors like stress management and hydration status etc. all of which contribute to over all well
being
Correct your spelling
well-being
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 should
also
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 be focused.

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task achievement
Your introduction effectively presents the topic and your opinion. However, consider providing a clearer thesis statement that explicitly outlines the main points you will discuss in your essay.
task achievement
Ensure that each point in your body paragraphs is well-developed. While you provide examples, more elaboration on how these points contribute to a healthy life would strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a logical structure, but improving the transitions between ideas can enhance flow. Use linking words or phrases to guide the reader more clearly from one point to another.
coherence and cohesion
While your conclusion summarizes the points, consider restating your opinion more directly. This will reinforce your stance in the reader’s mind and tie your arguments together.
task achievement
You have presented a balanced viewpoint, acknowledging both sides of the argument effectively.
task achievement
Your use of examples, such as the importance of physical activity and sleep, adds depth to your argument.
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