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Band 7

The chart below shows changes in the number of the international students in Australia in 2019 and 2020.

The chart below shows changes in the number of the international students in Australia in 2019 and 2020.
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The bar chart gives information about the
change
Use synonyms
 in the
number
Use synonyms
 of worldwide
students
Use synonyms
 in Australia in terms of
countries
Use synonyms
, namely China, India, Nepal, Vietnam, Brazil and Malaysia between 2019 and 2020.
Overall
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 the
number
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 of
students
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 in China
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
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experienced the biggest
change
Use synonyms
 rather to other
countries
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 at the beginning of the period, the reverse is true in Malaysia, as
this
Linking Words
 country had the smallest
change
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 than other
countries
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. Focusing on the
countries
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 which made up
large
Change the article
a large
the large
show examples
number
Use synonyms
 of foreign
students
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 in Australia
first,
Linking Words
the figure for Chinese
students
Use synonyms
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 the highest, namely 182,325 in 2019. After a year, it decreased substantially to 167,568.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
initially
Linking Words
, the
number
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 of
students
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 in India
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 increased rapidly from 92,024 to 108,049 within a year.
However
Linking Words
,
Change preposition
for the
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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students
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of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 other
countries
Use synonyms
, there were very few
students
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 with the smallest
change
Use synonyms
 in 2020. As for the
number
Use synonyms
 of Malaysians, they stood out from all
countries
Use synonyms
 with the least amount.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it fell slightly from 21,736 to 19,564 between 2019 and 2020.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words change, number, students, countries with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 5 times.
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