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Band 7.5

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Other believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

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Having a competitive atmosphere at work, school, and in everyday life is thought to be a positive aspect by some people,
whereas
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 others believe that cooperation and
teamwork
Use synonyms
 are more beneficial. I opine that the latter statement outweighs the former, as having various people work together as a team ensures a better outcome for all individuals. Undoubtedly, having some level of
competition
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—whether in a school environment, at the workplace, or during daily tasks—can generate motivation, as one might feel the need to prove
themselves
Correct pronoun usage
oneself
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 to others. But wouldn’t that create too much stress?
For example
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, schools that promote
teamwork
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 and cooperation among students often show better
overall
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 academic results.
On the other hand
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, schools with a highly competitive environment tend to produce only one 'over-achieving' student,
while
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 the rest may feel like failures, potentially leading to anxiety or even depression.
Moreover
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,
teamwork
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 encourages greater productivity. Take,
for instance
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, working in a hospital: an intern doctor examines a patient and reports the findings to a senior doctor, and together they reach a diagnosis.
Then
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, a nurse is responsible for administering the correct medication and dosage. Could one person alone ensure the patient’s well-being in
such
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 a complex process? That said,
competition
Use synonyms
 is still necessary. Some individuals find it difficult to stay motivated without a sense of rivalry in their lives. They might feel they have nothing to prove, and
as a result
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, they may lack ambition. In
such
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 cases,
competition
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 can be useful. People may feel more encouraged to get up and be productive, as they do not want to be left behind or seen as failures.
However
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, even though
this
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 seems like an advantage, it may
also
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 lead to harmful stress and pressure. In conclusion, I believe both
competition
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 and cooperation have their merits and drawbacks.
However
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, I strongly believe that
teamwork
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 offers far more benefits than being constantly surrounded by
competition
Use synonyms
 throughout one’s life

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task achievement
Consider adding a more personal opinion in the introduction to clarify your stance from the outset.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure a smoother transition between ideas, especially when shifting from one viewpoint to another, to enhance the flow of the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Include a brief summary of main points in the conclusion to reinforce your argument.
content
In-depth analysis of the impact of competition and cooperation on personal well-being, particularly in educational settings.
content
Use of relevant examples that effectively illustrate the points made, such as the teamwork involved in a hospital setting.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovation
  • productivity
  • excel
  • outperform
  • advancements
  • academic standards
  • work ethic
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • unhealthy rivalries
  • harmonious
  • supportive
  • collaborative learning
  • social skills
  • communication skills
  • sense of community
  • collective goals
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