IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Many people believe that economic development is necessary for a country’s success. What are the advantages and disadvantages of such approach?

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Many people believe that economic
development
Use synonyms
 is necessary for a
country’s
Use synonyms
 success. What are the advantages and disadvantages of
such
Linking Words
approach
Correct article usage
an approach
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? Many people really believe that economic
development
Use synonyms
 is necessary for a
country’s
Use synonyms
 success. There are several reasons why people think so. They think it
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 because it really is key to a
country’s
Use synonyms
 progress and prosperity. Even
I
Correct word choice
though I
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agree with
this
Linking Words
 strategy, I believe that other ways, like education and healthcare no less important. On the one hand, economic
development
Use synonyms
 gives a lot of benefits
for
Change preposition
to
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 a country.
For instance
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: countries will reach to new level, increase people’s income and
government
Correct article usage
the government
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 will develop our infrastructure.
Also
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, our education and healthcare will improve.
Moreover
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, all
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this
Change the determiner
these
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 reasons
consequently
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 give a solution
such
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 as country
development
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 and stability, peace in society.
On the other hand
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, we will have
a new problems
Correct the article-noun agreement
a new problem
new problems
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, after
increase
Replace the word
increasing
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 production and pollution.
That is
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problem
Add an article
a problem
the problem
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 with ecology.
Thus
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, if we
will be
Wrong verb form
are
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 focused only on economic growth we can
be lose
Change the verb form
lose
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 our environment.
In addition
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, I want to say that economic competition between countries.
This
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 will lead us to
lose
Replace the word
loss
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 of natural resources and deterioration
quality
Change preposition
of quality
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 of life. In conclusion, economic
development
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 is totally necessary for a
country’s
Use synonyms
 success. At least for our
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
country
Add a comma
country,
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 it would be a big chance
for
Change preposition
to
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 show off in all its glory to other countries. But, after
all
Add a comma
all,
show examples
 don’t get too caught up in
this
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 and forget about other problems. More importantly, keep everything in balance.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to clearly outline the advantages and disadvantages in separate paragraphs for better clarity.
task achievement
Use more specific examples to support your points, which would strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Clarify your position in the introduction; for example, state your view on the importance of economic development more explicitly.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid starting sentences with 'Also' or 'Moreover,' as this can affect the flow of ideas.
language accuracy
Check grammar, especially singular/plural forms and verb tenses (e.g., 'a new problems' should be 'new problems').
task achievement
The essay presents a clear opinion on economic development being necessary for success, which is well-held throughout.
coherence and cohesion
Your introductory sentence effectively grabs the reader's attention and states a common belief.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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