Television dominates the free-time of too many people. It can make people lazy and prevent them from socialising with others. Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Now a days
Correct the word
Nowadays
show examples
, it is becoming very difficult for people to get some
time
Use synonyms
for themselves from
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
hectic schedules. If someone
manage
Change the verb form
manages
show examples
to get some free
time
Use synonyms
they mostly
seen
Wrong verb form
see
show examples
spent
Replace the word
spend
show examples
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
front of the TV. I completely
agrees
Change the verb form
agree
show examples
with the given statement
that
Change preposition
about
show examples
how
this
Linking Words
new trend
effecting
Verb problem
affects
show examples
the health and
socail
Correct your spelling
social
life of people.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
habit
Add an article
the habit
a habit
show examples
of
dominating
Verb problem
spending
show examples
most of the free
time
Use synonyms
te front of
screen
Correct article usage
the screen
show examples
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
adverse effects on the
healh
Correct your spelling
health
of an individual. Day by day they are becoming couch potatoes, resulting in
lossing
Correct your spelling
losing
their interest in any physical and outdoor activities which is making them unhealthy and fatty.
Also
Linking Words
, some
contant
Correct your spelling
content
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the media
affecting
Wrong verb form
affects
show examples
their mindset and
making
Wrong verb form
makes
show examples
them irritable in every life situation.
For example
Linking Words
, TV reality shows.
Secondly
Linking Words
, they feel
to
Correct your spelling
so
show examples
much connected to the
LEd's
Change noun form
LDs
show examples
that they start
cornning
Correct your spelling
corning
themselves from the outer world.
Slowely
Correct your spelling
Slow
and steady feeling of liking a
lonlyness
Correct your spelling
loneliness
arises in the individual and he
started
Wrong verb form
starts
show examples
ignoring any social
evets
Correct your spelling
events
show examples
or
gathering
Fix the agreement mistake
gatherings
show examples
. He is too much into the shows, that he started
forgeting
Correct your spelling
forgetting
friends.
Moreover
Linking Words
, now the broadcasts were made in a series and long episodes to bind the audience and to get more viewers.
Lastely
Correct your spelling
Lastly
,
everthing
Correct your spelling
everything
is good if it
done
Add a missing verb
is done
show examples
in the right amount. Spending leisure
time
Use synonyms
on
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
evening
Correct article usage
the evening
show examples
with family or
friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
show examples
watching
fovourite
Correct your spelling
favourite
sports or shows is
greeat
Correct your spelling
great
unless or
untill
Correct your spelling
until
you are not fond of
this
Linking Words
virtual reality.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Improve your introduction by clearly stating whether you agree or disagree with the statement. Additionally, mention the points you will discuss in your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Use more varied linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more fluidly. For instance, 'Furthermore', 'In addition', and 'On the other hand' can enhance cohesion.
coherence and cohesion
Check for grammatical accuracy and spelling errors. For example, 'there' should be 'their', 'effecting' should be 'affecting', and 'slowely' should be 'slowly'.
task achievement
Strengthen your examples by providing more specific situations or statistics to support your points. This adds relevance and depth to your arguments.
task achievement
You have shown a clear understanding of the topic and presented your opinion, which forms a good basis for your argument.
task achievement
Your points about the negative impact of television on health and social life are relevant to the prompt.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: