IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say that with the development of modern technology printed books, newspapers and magazines lose their importance. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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It is argued that traditional
books
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 and articles have less significance
due to
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 the rise in
invention
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the invention
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 of digital devices. I completely agree with
this
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 statement because the ease
to
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of
show examples
Correct your spelling
acquire
aquire
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acquiring
 accurate
information
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 from
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
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 outweighs pre-recorded
information
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 in olden
books
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 and it is easier to carry smartphones In order to have the right result on
time
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 one should acquire the knowledge
on
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at
show examples
 the right
time
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 .
This
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 means that it is important to have the correct knowledge when
better
Correct article usage
a better
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 outcome is intended for that to occur
books
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 should be revised and written again with exact
information
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 on
regular
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a regular
show examples
 basis but
this
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 seems to be impossible as it requires
time
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 and effort to publish the right
evidences
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evidence
pieces of evidence
shreds of evidence
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 or research .
This
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 can be avoided with technology as most of the
time
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 they are updated immediately with proper
information
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 minimizing the delay in
desired
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the desired
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 outcome.
For example
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, the invention of the COVID-19 vaccine only took
few
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a few
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 months as the
information
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 about the cause of
disease
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the disease
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 and how it
affects
Wrong verb form
affected
show examples
 was easily at their disposal because of technology
unlike
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, unlike
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small-pox
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small pox
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 which took experts years to eradicate . Smartphones are compact and are easier to access
unlike
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, unlike
show examples
 traditional
books
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 which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 heavier and more in number .
This
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 means that digital devices are organized with files and can be accessed quickly when needed
in contrast
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 to finding data in huge
bundle
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bundles
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 of files .
For instance
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, students participating in
debate
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a debate
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 competition in
United
Correct article usage
the United
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 States of America with tablets win the competition as they
aquire
Correct your spelling
acquire
require
 the
information
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in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 speed compared to the students only with printed textbooks and magazines . . In summary,
while
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 printed
books
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 retain nostalgic value, digital devices like smartphones clearly offer superior practicality
due to
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 their portability and instant access to updated
information
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. Given the accelerating digitization of education and workplaces, printed materials will likely become increasingly obsolete. Governments and schools should
therefore
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 invest in digital literacy programs to ensure equitable access to these tools

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task achievement
Consider refining your thesis statement to clearly outline your stance and main points. This will help provide a stronger direction for your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph starts with a clear topic sentence that relates back to the thesis statement. This will enhance the logical flow of your argument.
task achievement
Expand your examples to provide more detail or context. For example, you could discuss the impact of smartphones on learning more comprehensively.
content
Your points about the practicality of digital devices were well-articulated, providing a strong argument in support of your thesis.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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