IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

If you want to be successful at work，you should have high-level computer skills, do you agree or disagree?

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In the modern era,
technology
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 has become an integral part
in
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of
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 the workforce. It is often argued that having advanced
computer
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skills
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 is essential for achieving success at work. I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement as proficiency in digital tools significantly improves efficiency, adaptability and professional value in
job
Add an article
the job
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 market. In today’s digitalized world,
technology
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 forms the backbone of almost every profession. Fields
such
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 as finance, media, engineering, and education have all become dependent on digital tools and platforms. Employees are now expected to be proficient in various software applications like Excel or data management, photoshop for design tasks or CAD for engineering work. The ability to use these programs effectively enhances productivity, accuracy and communication within teams.
For instance
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, an engineer using simulation software can test designs virtually before physical production, thereby saving both time and resources. Another compelling reason why high-level
computer
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skills
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 are indispensable is the growing impact of automation and artificial intelligence in the workforce. Many machine and manual jobs are being replaced by automated systems, making it increasingly difficult for individuals without strong digital literacy to remain relevant. Employers now prioritize candidates who not only understand
technology
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 but
also
Linking Words
 learn and adapt quickly. Those with advanced
computer
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skills
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 are more likely to secure stable employment, transition into new roles, and even advance their careers.
For example
Linking Words
, traditional data entry positions are rapidly disappearing
due to
Linking Words
 AI-powered tools. Workers who once relied on these manual tasks must now shift to
technology
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-driven roles
such
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 as data management, programming or analytics — positions that demand a solid foundation in
computer
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skills
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. In conclusion, I firmly believe that mastering high-level
computer
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skills
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 is a crucial factor in achieving workplace success. As digital transformation continues to reshape every industry, individuals who are proficient with
technology
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 will remain more efficiently competitive and relevant in their careers.

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task achievement
Overall, your essay effectively addresses the task, presenting a clear stance and supporting arguments. However, consider including a counterargument to strengthen your position further. This could demonstrate a more nuanced understanding of the debate around computer skills and workplace success.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction clearly outlines your position and the main points you'll discuss. Maintaining this clarity throughout by using clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph can enhance the flow of your ideas even more.
task achievement
While your examples are relevant and help illustrate your points, you could strengthen your argument by incorporating a greater variety of examples or statistics that could add depth to your claims about the impact of computer skills in various fields.
content
The essay has a strong introduction that outlines your position clearly and sets the tone for the discussion.
content
You've effectively linked your points with examples, demonstrating a good understanding of how advanced computer skills apply in various job contexts.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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