In some countries, only few young people go to classical music concerts or or play classical music. Why? Should young people be encouraged to attend and learn more?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

It is argued that there are only a few young

people

Use synonyms

who learn to play classical

music

Use synonyms

or go out to enjoy classical

music

Use synonyms

concerts.

This

Linking Words

is because classical

music

Use synonyms

is very complex and it requires a lot of time and dedication to practice

this

Linking Words

kind of

music

Use synonyms

. In my opinion, I agree that young

people

Use synonyms

should be encouraged to learn more because classical

music

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

has an interesting history

that is

Linking Words

quite impressive to know.

Firstly

Linking Words

, many young

people

Use synonyms

give up studying classical

music

Use synonyms

because they do not have enough time to learn. Because of the complexity,

people

Use synonyms

who attend to learn require a lot of concentration and

also

Linking Words

focus heavily on the lesson.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, most classical

music

Use synonyms

was played without the lyrics, so

people

Use synonyms

have to put their feelings and emotions to understand it.

For example

Linking Words

, most young students in Thailand do not know much about classical

music

Use synonyms

this

Linking Words

subject is cancelled in schools

due to

Linking Words

its unpopularity.

Thus

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

is a clear reason that only specific groups will go to classical

music

Use synonyms

concerts.

However

Linking Words

, classical

music

Use synonyms

is not only about sound, lyrics, or instruments, the story of classical

music

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

simply a historical moment. Many children should know about famous classical

musicians

Use synonyms

, including Beethoven, who is one of the greatest

musicians

Use synonyms

of all time. His story is very exciting and astonishing; it will change the perspective of children to see different aspects

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and sometimes inspire many young, talented

musicians

Use synonyms

For instance

Linking Words

, there are a lot of children who listen to famous songs, and

then

Linking Words

they dedicate themselves to practising to become professional

musicians

Use synonyms

. So,

that is

Linking Words

why classical

music

Use synonyms

is very important to young pupils. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

only a few young

people

Use synonyms

listen to classical

music

Use synonyms

due to

Linking Words

its complexity, adults have to encourage their kids to attend and learn more because there are several stories that young

people

Use synonyms

should know, and it can lead them to become

one

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

well-known classical

musicians

Use synonyms

yongvibulsiri.pThu Apr 24 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction

The introduction presents the topic adequately, but could be more engaging. Try to use a hook to grab the reader's attention.

main points

In your body paragraphs, ensure that all main points are well developed and supported with examples. Some points feel slightly underdeveloped.

support

When mentioning the complexity of classical music, it would add value to discuss how it compares with other music genres to reinforce your argument.

conclusion

Your conclusion summarizes the key points well but could be strengthened by reiterating the benefits of classical music for young people in a more compelling manner.

topic relevance

Your essay addresses the topic and presents a clear opinion on encouraging young people to engage with classical music.

example usage

You provide relevant examples, such as mentioning Beethoven, which adds interest and context to your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

328 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Exposure
Perception
Old-fashioned
Elitist
Financial investment
Competing interests
Entertainment options
Digital music
Video games
Social media
Cultural understanding
Cognitive benefits
Affordable tickets
Free concerts
Music education programs
Modern adaptations
Collaborations
Relatable

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
One of the consequence of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?
The rise of new medical techniques and the advent of revolutionary technologies in the field have had a major impact on life expectancy. As more people have access to better medical care, increased longevity comes as a product of it. A series of advantages and disadvantages arise owing to the fact that these larger elderly populations are out of the workforce. In this essay, I will give my personal opinion on why I think that the advantages of better medical treatments outweigh the cons of it.
7.5
band
Competitiveness is a positive quality for people in most societies. How does competitiveness affect individuals? Is it a positive or a negative trend?
Being competitive, according to many cultures, is a positive quality since it inspires people to keep working toward their objectives. I wholeheartedly concur that rivalry is a good quality as it encourages individuals to maintain their concentration and perform more efficiently in both corporate and individual cultures.
7
band
It is a good thing for people in senior management positions to get a higher salary than other workers in the same company. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
For people who are in top management positions, they get paid more than other employees of the same company. I completely agree with this perspective because it will lead to positive outcomes for the company. like increased order and productivity in terms of the company's efficiency and performance. Additionally, getting salaries should be beside managers' knowledge and talents.
6.5
band
Some people think that school should choose students according to their academic abilities, while others think it is better to have students of different abilities studying together. Discuss both views and state your own opinion.
In this present world, academic standings have become a crucial factor for schools. Even universities choose their candidates based on grades only. While some individuals claim schools should opt for students with high standings, others believe that pupils with different abilities should not be separated. In the subsequent paragraphs, both views will be discussed, however, In my opinion, separating students with specific qualifications would be more beneficial.
8
band
People believe that Generation Z (1997-2007) are more dishonest than previous generations. What is the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?
There is a common belief that the Z generation’s teenagers are becoming more and more dishonest when compared to the older ones. This assumption derives from the lack of later appropriate punishments while having been a detrimental issue resulting in the emergence of other negative traits in a child’s behaviour.

In some countries, only few young people go to classical music concerts or or play classical music. Why? Should young people be encouraged to attend and learn more?

Your opinion

One of the consequence of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Competitiveness is a positive quality for people in most societies. How does competitiveness affect individuals? Is it a positive or a negative trend?

It is a good thing for people in senior management positions to get a higher salary than other workers in the same company. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that school should choose students according to their academic abilities, while others think it is better to have students of different abilities studying together. Discuss both views and state your own opinion.

People believe that Generation Z (1997-2007) are more dishonest than previous generations. What is the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?