IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people say that in all levels of education, from primary schools to universities, too much is spent on learning facts and not enough on learning practical skills. Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is no denying the fact that some people claim that plenty of time and effort are spent on learning
facts
Use synonyms
 and not enough on learning practical skills, in all levels of
education
Use synonyms
, from primary schools to universities. There is
also
Linking Words
 an argument that opposes it, in my opinion, I consider combining hands-on experiences skills and
facts
Use synonyms
 learning in a balanced way results in a strong
education
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, from the early stages of learning to the universities, they should balance between
facts
Use synonyms
 and practical learning, especially for university graduates because they struggle with finding jobs.
in other words
Linking Words
, balancing between theoretical and practical learning from the early stages of
education
Use synonyms
 will improve educational outcomes and present a skilful generation to the labour market.
In addition
Linking Words
, companies will invest in new graduates
instead
Linking Words
 of searching for people who have long experience.
For example
Linking Words
, my friend and I graduated at the same time, but he studied at another university that mixes both practical and fact learning.
This
Linking Words
 helped him to find a job before me because my university focused on the
facts
Use synonyms
 side,
although
Linking Words
 we graduated from the same major. Another point to consider is that theoretical
education
Use synonyms
 is not enough because it will lead to a weak foundation in learning, the reason behind
this
Linking Words
 is because it focuses on ideal situations
instead
Linking Words
 of real ones. It is
also
Linking Words
 possible to say that perfect situations do not exist in real life, most graduates are shocked when they face real-world problems in their field, they discover many things when they start to practice what they have learned in college.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 will cost them a significant amount of time to learn again and lower their self-esteem.
For example
Linking Words
, I took my cooperative training at a company called Saudia Technic as an Aerospace Engineer. The training program was about learning aircraft maintenance, which provided a lot of information to me, because my
education
Use synonyms
 lacked hands-on experience, I had to learn again about my major. In conclusion, despite people having different views, I believe that educational institutions that combine practical skills with fact learning provide the best
education
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay presents a clear argument and attempts to balance the perspectives on practical skills versus theoretical knowledge. However, consider providing a more definitive stance in your thesis statement to enhance clarity.
coherence cohesion
While your points are relevant, ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly with clear linking phrases. This will help the reader follow your main ideas more effectively.
task achievement
Enhance the depth of your examples by elaborating on their implications or connecting them back to your main argument more explicitly, thereby reinforcing your overall message.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to proofread your essay for minor grammatical errors, as these can distract from your message. For instance, use ‘there is’ instead of ‘there is also an argument that opposes it.’
task achievement
Your use of relevant personal examples enhances the argument and helps illustrate your points effectively.
coherence cohesion
The structure of your essay, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, is commendable and helps convey your message.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • practical skills
  • theoretical knowledge
  • balanced approach
  • rote learning
  • critical thinking
  • problem-solving skills
  • student satisfaction
  • educational outcomes
  • employer expectations
  • lifelong learning
  • adaptability
  • competitive edge
  • job-ready
What to do next:
Look at other essays: