IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

it is important for everyone,including young people,to save money for their future. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

Owing to the necessity of achieving financial stability, there is no doubt that saving
money
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 plays a crucial role in securing a better future. It is a commonly held belief that prioritizing essential purchases can minimize financial risks.
However
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, there is
also
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 an argument that challenges
this
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 view. In my opinion, I firmly believe that saving
money
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 is fundamental for ensuring long-term stability and success.
To begin
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 with, managing spending wisely and saving
money
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 can have significant positive effects in various life circumstances.
In other words
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, cultivating saving habits from a young age can open numerous opportunities for a prosperous future.
For instance
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, individuals who save consistently are more likely to pay for their education without the burden of relying on bank loans.
Furthermore
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, investing savings in secure financial institutions can enhance financial security later in life. A clear example of
this
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 is encouraging young people to invest in savings accounts, which could result in substantial financial independence within a few years. Another point worth considering is that unforeseen circumstances often challenge an individual's ability to save. It is
also
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 important to mention that low income can make effective
money
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 management and saving particularly difficult.
For example
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, those earning minimal salaries may find it challenging to afford major purchases
such
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 as a car.
In addition
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, the lack of financial prioritization can lead to long-term consequences. A relevant example would be a young person who frequently spends
money
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 on unnecessary items, later struggling to cover essential expenses like university fees.
To conclude
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,
although
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 there are different opinions on
this
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 matter, I strongly support the view that saving
money
Use synonyms
, particularly from a young age, is vital for achieving future financial stability.

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Task Response
Your essay presents a clear argument in favor of saving money for the future and addresses the topic effectively. However, consider addressing counterarguments more thoroughly to provide a more balanced perspective.
Coherence and Cohesion
While your ideas are generally well-organized, ensuring that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence can enhance the logical flow of your argument. This would help in guiding the reader through your points more effectively.
Positive Highlight
Your introduction clearly outlines your main argument, setting a firm foundation for the rest of the essay.
Positive Highlight
Your examples are relevant and illustrate your points effectively, particularly in relation to education and financial security.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • safety net
  • unforeseen circumstances
  • emergencies
  • future investments
  • retirement planning
  • financial discipline
  • habit of saving
  • amassing wealth
  • substantial fund
  • opportunity cost
  • additional income
  • inflation
  • purchasing power
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