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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some schools are very strict about their school uniforms and the appearance of their pupils, while other schools have a very relaxed dresscode. What are the advantages and disadvantages of children of having a school uniform?

In the contemporary era, some
schools
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 have school
uniforms
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 and the appearance of their pupils,
While
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 others argue that
schools
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 have a relaxed dress code. In
this
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 essay, I will justify my opinion with several reasons. To commence with, the advantage of children having school
uniforms
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 is to promote equality. School
uniforms
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 can promote a sense of equality among
students
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 by reducing the visibility of economic disparities, as all
students
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 wear the same attire.
For example
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, poor people feel comfortable in classrooms with the rich
students
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.
Moreover
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,
uniforms
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 may encourage a sense of discipline and seriousness about education, as
students
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 are more likely to focus on their studies when they are dressed in formal attire.
As a result
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, uniform helps to maintain an identity and spirit. Moving ahead, the disadvantage of children having
uniforms
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 is that they restrict self-expression. Wearing a uniform means an individual cannot express their unique personality through their choice of clothing.
This
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 can lead to a feeling of uniformity, where everyone looks the same , and creativity is suppressed.
Furthermore
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,
uniforms
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 are not always comfortable and practical for everyone. Different people have different body types, and what might be comfortable for one person may not be suitable for another.
For example
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,
students
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 may find it difficult to participate in informal events. In conclusion, the advantage of
uniforms
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 is that it creates equality and discipline in
schools
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.
However
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, others argue that the cons of
uniforms
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 are that it is uncomfortable in other informal events. Maintaining a balance between these aspects leads to the
overall
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 development of the
students
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 in the
schools
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.

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task achievement
Consider providing a clearer thesis statement in your introduction that directly states your opinion on uniforms.
task achievement
Try to include more specific examples to support your points about equality and self-expression.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to maintain consistent tense throughout the essay to improve grammatical accuracy.
coherence and cohesion
Use more linking words to improve the flow between ideas, especially in the transition between your points.
task achievement
You effectively introduced the topic and identified both advantages and disadvantages of school uniforms.
task achievement
Your points regarding equality and discipline in relation to school uniforms were insightful and relevant to the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Uniformity
  • Discipline
  • Peer pressure
  • Economic disparities
  • Collaboration
  • Belonging
  • Identity
  • Simplification
  • Appearance
  • Stress levels
What to do next:
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