IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Although more and more people read news o the internet newspaper will remain the most important source of news do you agree or disagree

In recent years, it has been widely argued that despite the widespread popularity of using electronic devices to access
news
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, some individuals still believe that
newspapers
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 remain a significant source of
information
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. From my perspective, I wholeheartedly disagree with
this
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 view. In the following paragraphs, I will explore the key reasons behind my opinion before arriving at a well-considered conclusion. On the one hand, accessing
news
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 through the internet is considerably more convenient and beneficial. To elaborate, the internet provides unlimited access to a vast amount of
information
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 within a short period, making it easier and faster to stay updated regardless of one's location.
In addition
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, it helps save both money and effort.
Instead
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 of purchasing
newspapers
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 daily—which can be financially burdensome for some individuals—one can simply browse
news
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 sites for free.
Furthermore
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,
information
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 available online is continuously updated in
real time
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real-time
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, unlike
newspapers
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 which quickly become outdated.
On the other hand
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, the production of
newspapers
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 is not only outdated but
also
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 highly expensive and environmentally detrimental. Industries involved in printing undergo numerous costly processes, from cutting down trees for paper to emitting carbon dioxide during manufacturing, which exacerbates global warming.
Moreover
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, the quantity of
information
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 presented in
newspapers
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 is highly limited compared to the vast array of content available online.
Additionally
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,
newspapers
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 are less portable than digital devices, making smartphones a more practical alternative.
Lastly
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, elderly individuals might find it challenging to read
newspapers
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due to
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 small font sizes and poor
color
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colour
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 contrasts.
To sum up
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,
although
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 some people still regard
newspapers
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 as crucial sources of
information
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, I firmly believe they are no longer the ultimate means of staying informed. With the existence of the internet, and considering the environmental and informational limitations of printed
news
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, online platforms have clearly become the superior choice.

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task achievement
Your essay addresses the task well and presents a clear position throughout. Ensure that each point is backed up by specific examples to strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Your arguments are well-structured and logically flow from one to the next. To improve cohesion, try using a wider range of linking words to enhance the connections between ideas.
task achievement
The introduction clearly states your position and outlines the points you will discuss, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument.
coherence and cohesion
You provide a variety of reasons for your stance, demonstrating an understanding of the topic and effectively addressing counterarguments.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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