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Writing Samples
Band 7

The charts below give information about the number of hours that students study each day at five different universities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below give information about the number of hours that students study each day at five different universities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The two bar charts given illustrate the rate of
study
Use synonyms
 time for the number of universities. The first chart is about the amount of
hours
Use synonyms
 on weekdays,
while
Linking Words
 the second is about
weekends
Use synonyms
.
According to
Linking Words
 chart one, the
students
Use synonyms
 who
study
Use synonyms
 the longest time over mid-week days who
study
Use synonyms
 in "C".
In contrast
Linking Words
, the less were for "D" university.
Then
Linking Words
, the second chart shows that A university's
students
Use synonyms
 prefer to achieve their mission on
weekends
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
, D university
students
Use synonyms
 are
also
Linking Words
 the least which means they
study
Use synonyms
 for a small average of
hours
Use synonyms
 over a week.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 the average
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
hour is close for all
students
Use synonyms
. So, on weekdays C
students
Use synonyms
 spend 10.6
hours
Use synonyms
 daily, followed by B who are less than them with just 0.5. Regarding other people,
although
Linking Words
 D was the least they studied 9.6 which is not a big different number. On
weekends
Use synonyms
, the numbers are varied so, A
students
Use synonyms
consume
Verb problem
spend
show examples
 9
hours
Use synonyms
 of their day
on
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
study
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
 B
students
Use synonyms
 spend approximately 8.6
hours
Use synonyms
. Unexpectedly, D
students
Use synonyms
 even on
weekends
Use synonyms
 spend
tiny
Add an article
a tiny
show examples
 amount of
hours
Use synonyms
 a day about 5.6
hours
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words study, hours, weekends, students with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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