IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

some people think that foreign visitors should be charged more than local when they visit cultural and tourist attractions in a country. To what extent do you agree with this view?

It is true that
tourism
Use synonyms
 plays an indispensable role in the economic growth of any
country
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
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, some individuals have a firm belief that
tourists
Use synonyms
 should be charged more when they
visit
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 any
tourist
Use synonyms
 attraction in any
country
Use synonyms
.
However
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, I disagree with
this
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 notion because I believe that it promotes inequality among
tourists
Use synonyms
 and restricts them
to
Change preposition
from visiting
show examples
visit
Use synonyms
 these costly nations which automatically worsens the economic situation of any
country
Use synonyms
. One of the most common reasons for disagreement is that
tourism
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 will be affected adversely when
Use synonyms
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
show examples
 feel discriminated against as compared to the locals. Most
tourist
Use synonyms
 destinations are highly dependent upon
tourism
Use synonyms
 because they generate revenue for them and improve their infrastructure as well. In
this
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 way, these destinations are able to grab the attention of these
tourists
Use synonyms
 and encourage them to
visit
Use synonyms
 these
places
Use synonyms
. But charging high prices for visiting these
places
Use synonyms
 from foreigners not only discourages them but
also
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 creates unfairness and inequality in their minds.
Consequently
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,
tourist
Use synonyms
 prefer to find cheap spots to
visit
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instead
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 of these
places
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 and by the time these
places
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 lose their importance.
Moreover
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, historical values and cultural exchange are only possible when people of other nationalities
visit
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 there and understand these norms and traditional values. Implementing double cost on
tourists
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 denying them to
visit
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 there and charging more from foreigners may hinder the cultural importance and people will never know their cultural backgrounds.
Furthermore
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, most artisans are solely dependent on
tourism
Use synonyms
 and they spend their whole life on creativity to attract visitors and insist they buy souvenirs from them. In
this
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 way, they get appreciation and motivation to make their more creative and effective to improve the economic growth of the nation.
Conversely
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, sometimes charging more is fair enough when the
country
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 suffers from
the
Correct article usage
a
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 scarcity of resources and basic needs. At that time, people think these foreigners are the only source to improve their living standards, and infrastructure and to preserve historical monuments etcetera.
To sum up
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, Undoubtedly,
tourism
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 is capable of improving the economic conditions of any
country
Use synonyms
 but charging a lot from
tourists
Use synonyms
 clearly shows discrimination against locals and discourages them from visiting these
places
Use synonyms
 and they find other alternatives to spend their vacations
instead
Linking Words
 of going to any expensive destination.

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coherence
Ensure that each paragraph clearly supports your main argument and transitions smoothly to the next point. Make sure that the overall structure of your essay is logical and easy to follow.
task response
Provide more specific examples to enhance your arguments. For instance, you could cite specific countries that have adopted similar pricing strategies and their outcomes.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear stance on the topic and discusses its implications for tourism and cultural exchange, which is commendable.
coherence
The introduction and conclusion are effectively structured, outlining your main argument and summarizing your viewpoint clearly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural attractions
  • tourist economy
  • revenue generation
  • inequality
  • discourage tourism
  • economic fabric
  • cultural exchange
  • mutual understanding
  • cultural preservation
  • community projects
  • accessibility
  • global connections
  • financial need
  • inclusive tourism
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