IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Most countries aim to improve their standard of living through economic development, but many important social values can be lost as a result. Do the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, a lot of
countries
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 focus on improving the living status by economic reinforcement,
On the other hand
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, many people believe that social work and values could be lost
as a consequence
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 of that improvement . I firmly believe that the pros outweigh the cons of
this
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 decision , and in my essay, I will explain the reasons.
Countries
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 , whose main goal is to establish high financial standards and work to achieve them will improve the quality of life of their citizens.
In other words
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, most
countries
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 try to develop their economic status by joining the international markets or starting new projects to gain more tourists , which helps to gain more money for a better quality of life and services.
For example
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,
countries
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 spend most of their budget on education and health care fields
as a result
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, they will make more investments in international markets
instead
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 of donating the money to help other
countries
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 who face problems
such
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 as lack of water , serious health problems or wars .
As a result
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 , their economic status will rise
as well as
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 they will provide a better life for their population.
In addition
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 , Financial development is crucial for the population’s salary satisfaction.
Furthermore
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,
countries
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 starting social activities to build trust among other
countries
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 will consume a large amount of money , which in the end will affect the general budget
as well as
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 the salaries of citizens and
also
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 raise taxes.
For instance
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, The UK government donated more than one billion in 2019 for Africa to clean drinking water , because of
this
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 the taxes rose from 20% to 35% to balance the budget , which leads product prices and flat rent to be very high which upsets the population. In conclusion. I completely agree that the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages , social work for other
countries
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 who are in need of help is vital and important as it is a way to build strong relationships ,
However
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, it could affect the
countries
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’ economic level ,that decreases the population’s satisfaction and their standard of living.

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task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt and presents your opinion clearly; however, ensure your arguments are consistently developed throughout the essay for better clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction is clear, but consider rephrasing for fluency. Improve the overall logical flow of your ideas, linking similar points for better coherence.
task achievement
You provide some examples to support your points, but additional specific examples related to the advantages of economic development would strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Be careful with punctuation and language accuracy to enhance clarity, especially the use of commas and sentence structuring.
positive aspect
You express a clear opinion and have a well-structured introduction and conclusion.
positive aspect
You recognize potential downsides of economic development, showcasing a well-rounded perspective on the topic.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • standard of living
  • economic development
  • quality of life
  • infrastructure
  • healthcare
  • education
  • job opportunities
  • unemployment
  • poverty
  • technological advancements
  • innovation
  • traditional cultural values
  • social bonds
  • material wealth
  • consumerism
  • social inequality
  • environmental conservation
  • wealth gap
  • vulnerable groups
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