In the 21st century, many companies allow their employees to work from home. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh its disadvantages?

#st #century #companies #employees #work #home #development

Many businesses permit their staff members to

work

remotely through computers in The 21st century . Despite there being a few negatives to be linked to

this

tendency, I feel that the possible benefits would be far more considerable. There are mainly three drawbacks for

employees

. From an individual perspective, some

companies

such

as Microsoft, Google ,Apple and others big

companies

want their

employees

work

in their offices

due to

the fact that they consider it more efficient for

workers

. Take,

for example

, some

companies

want

employees

work

together to acquire good results. A

further

drawback is that

such

workers

get used to a solitary lifestyle .

As a consequence

, people are used to

such

a lifestyle and

this

leads to being overweight and asociality .

Additionally

, after a

while

they get lazy , so they lose some skills

such

as waking up an early or active lifestyle and their

work

quality decreases. Compared to the above-discussed disadvantages,

however

, there seem to be more benefits of working from

home

First,

some

companies

are struggling with their budgets and are better off working from

home

because they can't afford a place for their

employees

Furthermore

, some individuals think that working at

home

is more efficient for

workers

owing to the fact that they do not waste time with going to

work

Hence

they can more rest than

workers

who go to

work

every day and

home

is cosy for most people.

In addition

, 2 years ago, one of the

companies

decided to have all their staff stay at

home

and

work

from

home

due to

Covid-19.

As a result

, the company was chosen as the best company of the year To summarize, I would maintain that the benefits of remote

work

because

that is

more good

workers

because they suffer less than other

workers

and I think that the results are good enough

Submitted by writingbhos on Mon Apr 22 2024

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Language Use

To improve further, try to enrich your essay with a more varied vocabulary. This would allow you to express your ideas more precisely and engagingly.

Introduction & Conclusion Structure

Consider using a clearer introduction and conclusion to strengthen your argument. This will help in making your position more explicit from the beginning and summarizing your viewpoint effectively at the end.

Coherence & Cohesion

For coherence, work on smoother transitions between paragraphs. Using linking phrases can help create a more fluid and natural progression of ideas.

Balanced Argument

You provided a balanced view by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of working from home, which is crucial for a task like this.

Use of Examples

Using specific examples, such as the mention of companies like Microsoft, Google, and Apple, strengthens your argument and makes it more convincing.

Conclusion

Your conclusion ties together the essay's main points well, reaffirming your stance effectively.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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15Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

316 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In the 21st century, many companies allow their employees to work from home. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh its disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Do you agree with gun possession to protect people?

A friend has agreed to look after your house and pet while you are on holiday. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: give contact details for when you are away, give instructions about how to care for your pet, describe other household duties you would like your friend to undertake.

Some people believe that when deciding how taxpayers' money is spent, governments should prioritise health care, while others believe that there are other priorities to spend this money.Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extend do you agree or disgree with this opinion?

Some say that sports play an important role in society. Others, however, think that it is nothing more than a leisure activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.