IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Creative artists should always be given the freedom to express their own ideas in words, pictures, music, or film, in whichever way they wish. There should be no government restrictions on what they do. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this option?

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It is considered that the authorities do not need to set any limitations for creative people like artists, who should have the ability to share their masterpieces using diverse forms of art depending on their own choice. I totally disagree for the following reasons. First of all, giving full freedom to these masters of brush could harm the mental health of children. The reason is that artists might use various banned topics
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 as adults 18+, and murders, in order to attract more attention from society. To illustrate
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, the recent work of Judio Kardeneshi, who created a sculpture depicting the process of killing one person by another one, and put it in a public park.
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, kids could become more introverted and, eventually, can be filled with a strong fear of being killed by their mates or random strangers.
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, the mentioned painters could spoil the appearance of buildings. The source of
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 arises from their desire to use as canvas the walls of well-known malls or houses to share their work of art with more people with ease.
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, there were plenty of occasions described in Kyiv news feeds about how young graffiti artists damaged the beauty of
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 city by painting diverse buildings downtown without any agreements with the local government.
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 could extremely damage the ancient facilities and
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, the number of foreign tourists might be lowered drastically. In conclusion, if authorities ignore controlling ways of expressing artistic ideas
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 might trigger tons of psychological issues in children's brains.
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, the appearance of city architecture could be spoiled.

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Task Achievement
In order to enhance your score in Task Achievement, aim to diversify your range of relevant examples. Although the examples provided are pertinent, incorporating a broader spectrum of scenarios could further strengthen your argument and demonstrate a wider understanding of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
To improve Coherence and Cohesion, consider varying your connecting words and phrases. While your essay demonstrates good logical structure, using a wider range of transitional phrases can make your writing flow more smoothly and appear more sophisticated.
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