The government should control the amount of violence in films and on television in order to decrease the violent crime in society. To what etent do you agree or disagree with this issue.
I would like
to begin
with the impact of Linking Words
films
on our society. When you watch a film, sometimes you start to repeat your lovely actor and some people live him or her in their real life. Even Use synonyms
there
are some Correct word choice
though there
films
, we have not Use synonyms
forgetten
their ends and got over yet. Correct your spelling
forgotten
Thus
Linking Words
we
you have to consider which film to watch. In fact, Correct pronoun usage
apply
i
would support Change the capitalization
I
such
an idea of government. Another matter which must be considered is how Linking Words
government
will take a measure or in what amount. If we pay Add an article
the government
attenntion
to Correct your spelling
attention
movie
sector, we will observe Correct article usage
the movie
film makers
prefer crime movies to others, because people like them much more. Correct your spelling
filmmakers
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
such
Linking Words
films
are watched better and make more profit. Use synonyms
However
, we have another Linking Words
and
massive problem, our children. Children are affected immediately by almost everything. Allowing them to watch Correct word choice
apply
such
Linking Words
films
would lead to big problems in their future, some Use synonyms
psychology
issues and Replace the word
psychological
ethc
. Government measures would be able to intervene Correct your spelling
ethics
againts
Correct your spelling
against
such
violations and hit the Linking Words
Use synonyms
films
harmful Change noun form
film's
affects
. Before devastating issues Replace the word
effects
emerging
, we have to think of efficient methods.Wrong verb form
emerge
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task achievement
Ensure your introduction clearly outlines your position on the topic. This will help establish your viewpoint from the outset and guide your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Work on the logical flow of your ideas. Make sure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, using linking words and phrases appropriately.
task achievement
Expand on your main points with more detailed examples or explanations. This not only strengthens your argument but also shows a deeper understanding of the impact of media violence.
task achievement
You raise important points about the influence of films on society and children's vulnerabilities, showing awareness of the issue.
coherence and cohesion
Your writing shows a willingness to engage with the complexity of the topic, which is commendable and demonstrates critical thinking.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite