The government should control the amount of violence in films and on television in order to decrease the violent crime in society. To what etent do you agree or disagree with this issue.

I would like

to begin

Linking Words

with the impact of

films

Use synonyms

on our society. When you watch a film, sometimes you start to repeat your lovely actor and some people live him or her in their real life. Even

there

Correct word choice

though there

show examples

are some

films

Use synonyms

, we have not

forgetten

Correct your spelling

forgotten

their ends and got over yet.

Thus

Linking Words

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

you have to consider which film to watch. In fact,

Change the capitalization

show examples

would support

such

Linking Words

an idea of government. Another matter which must be considered is how

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

will take a measure or in what amount. If we pay

attenntion

Correct your spelling

attention

movie

Correct article usage

the movie

show examples

sector, we will observe

film makers

Correct your spelling

filmmakers

show examples

prefer crime movies to others, because people like them much more.

Linking Words

Also

Add a comma

Also,

show examples

such

Linking Words

films

Use synonyms

are watched better and make more profit.

However

Linking Words

, we have another

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

massive problem, our children. Children are affected immediately by almost everything. Allowing them to watch

such

Linking Words

films

Use synonyms

would lead to big problems in their future, some

psychology

Replace the word

psychological

show examples

issues and

ethc

Correct your spelling

ethics

. Government measures would be able to intervene

againts

Correct your spelling

against

such

Linking Words

violations and hit the

Use synonyms

films

Change noun form

film's

show examples

harmful

affects

Replace the word

effects

show examples

. Before devastating issues

emerging

Wrong verb form

emerge

show examples

, we have to think of efficient methods.

yadigarovtogrul55Sat May 03 2025

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task achievement

Ensure your introduction clearly outlines your position on the topic. This will help establish your viewpoint from the outset and guide your argument.

coherence and cohesion

Work on the logical flow of your ideas. Make sure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, using linking words and phrases appropriately.

task achievement

Expand on your main points with more detailed examples or explanations. This not only strengthens your argument but also shows a deeper understanding of the impact of media violence.

task achievement

You raise important points about the influence of films on society and children's vulnerabilities, showing awareness of the issue.

coherence and cohesion

Your writing shows a willingness to engage with the complexity of the topic, which is commendable and demonstrates critical thinking.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

1 paragraphs

184 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

violent content
government regulation
vulnerable audiences
desensitization
aggressive behavior
censorship
social unrest
rating systems
responsible consumption
media influence

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The government should control the amount of violence in films and on television in order to decrease the violent crime in society. To what etent do you agree or disagree with this issue.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people say it is important to keep your home and your workplace tidy, with everything orgainsed and in the correct place. What is your opinion about this.

Money is important in most people's lives. Although some people think it is more important than others. What do you feel are the right uses of money? What other factors are important for a good life? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your experience.

When we meet someone for the first time, we generally decide very quickly what kind of person we think they are and if we like them or not. Is this a good thing or a bad thing? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.