Some people say a person's success in adult life is the result of the way they were brought up as a child by their parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

It is an undeniable fact that parents are the first teachers of their children, and a healthy upbringing provides a child with a platform to grow, learn, and develop. But some people assume that the child’s upbringing by parents is the only reason behind his/her
success
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in adulthood. I completely disagree with the statement and will explore the reasons in
this
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essay.
To begin
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with, education is an important factor that leads to
success
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in adult life. To elaborate, academic knowledge provides a vast amount of information regarding a particular subject, which gives learner confidence, security, and skills to pursue their career.
For instance
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, in order to become a doctor in India, an individual has to opt for a medical field and
then
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further
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has to through tough entrance tests like NEET and AIIMS. Moving
further
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, some of the other factors like peer pressure, a positive learning environment, and the friend circle play a significant role in the
success
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journey. To elaborate, competition tests the potential and reveals the real ability of an individual to fight,
learn
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and learn
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, and creates an urge to grow faster.
Apart from
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this
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, good friends motivate each other through
the
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apply
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tough times and act as a support system.
Moreover
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, an environment where a person can stay positive mentally provides an individual with the wings to grow faster and achieve
success
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. To encapsulate, it is appropriate to say that healthy parenting shapes their child into a better person and is one of the keys to
success
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. But without knowledge, skills, and competition, achieving
success
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could be challenging.

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task achievement
Make sure to illustrate your points with additional examples or evidence to strengthen your arguments.
coherence
Ensure your ideas flow logically from one to the other; consider using more cohesive devices to connect your paragraphs and points.
task achievement
Expanding on your ideas, such as discussing how each factor interacts with parenting, can create a more comprehensive response.
structure
Well-structured introduction and conclusion that frame your arguments effectively.
content
Your points about education and the influence of peer pressure are relevant and well articulated.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
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