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Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Housing is essential for people. Some argue that the government should offer free housing for people who cannot afford it. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #argue #government #offer
Lack of housing is one of the biggest concerns in today's world, affecting millions of people all across the world.
Therefore
, some individuals contend with the notion that the
government
 bears the primary responsibility for furnishing its citizens with accommodation. It is my contention that
although
 the
government
 holds the accountability to provide housing, its ability to make it free is limited in financial resources. First and foremost, as the population of earth experiences a burst in numbers, the living spaces are shrinking in volume, making it challenging to find a place to stay for many. Even the governments are falling short of providing proper housing opportunities to their citizens.
Furthermore
, putting a financial burden on the shoulders of the
government
 is not an ideal way to overcome
this
 shortcoming, but to
further
 exacerbate it by diverting a majority of tax-payer money towards the construction of new houses to be later provided for free.
Such
 magnitude of expenses can immensely affect dynamics of country budget allocation,
thus
, causing other unaccounted problems to emerge. To exemplify
this
 statement, statistically, governments have to deduct all other spending so as to finance the concept of free housing for everyone
due to
 the high cost of real estate. Consequentially, I believe
this
 financing should solely be applicable to the people who need help desperately.
Moreover
, another reason why I disagree that housing should be free for citizens is that it can result in the destruction of the real estate market, leading
up
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apply
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to the lay-offs of agents.
For example
, the need for rental or purchasing of houses will cease to exist once the governments decide to make accommodation costless. In conclusion, despite it is true that the
government
 are obliged to offer free houses for people who cannot afford them, scaling up
this
 initiative to a house per person can literally destroy the economic structure of a country.
Submitted by orkhanshamil on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, integrating a wider range of linking phrases could enhance the flow between ideas.
task achievement
To strengthen task achievement, it would be beneficial to include more diversified and detailed examples. While you provide general illustrations, specific, real-world examples could bolster your argument and make your points more compelling.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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