IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any revelant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

There is an ongoing debate that, the regime should invest
money
Use synonyms
 on
railways
Use synonyms
 rather than roadways. I agree with
this
Linking Words
 notion and I will be discussing my views in
further
Linking Words
 paragraphs.
To begin
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 with,
railways
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 are the key factors where all the states are investing
however
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, they are getting tax from it and it is convenient for those who can not afford their own transportation. To explain , spending on trains and railway tracks is essential nowadays
due to
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 most people are using subways and metro trains to save time and
money
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.
For example
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, a survey was conducted in the city of India that people of the country rely on public transportation
such
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 as the metro and local trains
due to
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 it being cheap and saving them
money
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 and time.
Hence
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, the government of India is more spending on
railways
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instead
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 of roadways.
On the other hand
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, when the administration invests over there so, they are
also
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 collecting a good amount of tax from the users of the country.
Moreover
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, it helps to reduce pollution and traffic by using
railways
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. To elaborate my view, when the masses are using public transport they are helping their nation directly or indirectly
such
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 as, not using their own motor vehicles will reduce air and noise pollution
as well as
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 reduce road accidents.
For instance
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, In Delhi,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 comes with a policy of odd and even where
one-day
Correct your spelling
one day
show examples
 odd number plate cars should be on the roads and another day even. So that, they can help the city as pollution free
as well as
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 they will use metro
instead
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 their own cars.
To conclude
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, I totally agree with the notion that the government should spend their
money
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 on
railways
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 rather than roads
due to
Linking Words
 the pollution-free nation
also
Linking Words
, it helps the regime to collect tax through
this
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.

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task achievement
Your essay has a clear position, which is great! However, consider expanding your ideas further to present a more thorough argument. Each point could be developed with additional supporting details.
coherence and cohesion
While your introduction and conclusion cover the main points, try to make them more engaging or impactful. A stronger hook in the introduction could help capture the reader's interest more effectively.
coherence and cohesion
Use connecting words more effectively to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs. This will enhance the overall coherence of your essay.
task achievement
You have a clear stance on the issue and present several relevant arguments supporting your view on investing in railways.
task achievement
Your examples provide insight into your arguments and show an understanding of the topic, particularly regarding public transport's benefits.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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