In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this .

Over the
last
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few years, individuals in some areas who believed that it is better to travel or start a career before enrolling in a
university
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by a year. In the following paragraphs, I will discuss some benefits and harmfuls of
this
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notion. I will start with the disadvantages, spending a year in
work
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or travel will make students graduate later than their colleagues who start
university
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studies directly after school. Which makes them late in their specialized career life. From my perspective, I think it is not a big issue but some people feel frustrated by
this
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.
Additionally
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, if they try working,
work
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may like them and make them gain good money, they would delay their studies to an unknown time which makes them lack qualifications. On the other side, there are many advantages to
this
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idea.
First,
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work
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and travelling are the major facilities that make us able to expand our minds and understanding.
As a result
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,
university
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studies would be easier thanks to
this
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experience.
For instance
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, a
university
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survey showed that the students who worked before studying are more skilled than others. Undoubtedly, they acquired several skills from
work
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.
Besides
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, some young humans prefer
this
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idea motivated by a desire to make money to use it over their
university
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years.
Also
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, others pursue their job
while
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studying. In conclusion, there are two cons that are caused by taking a gap year. Being late for graduation and deciding to leave studying for more years.
Likewise
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, there are two benefits, expanding the mind and making money. Each one should make their decision regarding their own circumstance.

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structure
The introduction could be more clearly structured to state the main argument or position. Also, consider using a clearer thesis statement to outline the main points you will discuss.
development
Consider expanding on the disadvantages and advantages with more specific examples or explanations to strengthen your argument.
conclusion
Make sure to clearly support your conclusion with a summary of the main points discussed in the essay to reinforce your argument.
content
Your comparison between the advantages and disadvantages is clear, and you've highlighted both sides of the topic well.
example
You've included a relevant example regarding the benefits of working before university, which enhances your argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural immersion
  • Life experience
  • Work ethic
  • Career readiness
  • Self-discovery
  • Delayed gratification
  • Intellectual stagnation
  • Financial implications
  • Social dynamics
  • Academic trajectory
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