IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

In
this
Linking Words
 day and age, new inventions
such
Linking Words
 as the
tesla
Capitalize word
Tesla
show examples
car
Use synonyms
 have been impacting
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
our
reallities
Correct your spelling
realities
.
In addition
Linking Words
, if we think
in
Change preposition
about
show examples
 our
future
Use synonyms
 as
society
Add an article
a society
the society
show examples
 it is not a surprise that different
Use synonyms
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
 of
cars
Use synonyms
 could be driverless and passengers will be the only humans inside the
car
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 could have a lot of advantages
such
Linking Words
 as more
time
Use synonyms
 for
people
Use synonyms
 and a decrease in the number of accidents.
However
Linking Words
, nation leaders must know about it because
this
Linking Words
 idea will
be increase
Change the verb form
increase
show examples
 the number of
people
Use synonyms
 without a job. On the one hand, we can
found
Wrong verb form
find
show examples
 two advantages
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 these robot
cars
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, in the
Use synonyms
future
Add a comma
future,
show examples
 the percentage of
car
Use synonyms
 accidents would decrease because every single
car
Use synonyms
 could have an entire GPS system or artificial intelligence to keep their passengers
safety
Replace the word
safe
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, the transport will move through cities without a problem because all the other
cars
Use synonyms
 could have a
kind
Use synonyms
 of radar to avoid
crush with
Wrong verb form
crushing
show examples
 it.
Secondly
Linking Words
, in
this
Linking Words
 new society,
people
Use synonyms
 will have more
time
Use synonyms
 to do other things like sleep, read or watch
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, a lot of Chilean
people
Use synonyms
 say that they do not have
time
Use synonyms
 to read a book, eventually, if drivers use
this
Linking Words
time
Use synonyms
 to make changes in their lifestyle,
such
Linking Words
 as
read
Wrong verb form
reading
show examples
 a book, that could be fantastic.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, one of the
disadvanteges
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
Linking Words
 idea could be the number of
people
Use synonyms
 without a job. In the
future
Use synonyms
,
jobs
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as
taxidrivers
Correct your spelling
taxi drivers
taxi-drivers
 or deliveries could
dissapear
Correct your spelling
disappear
 because society will not need
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these kinds
show examples
kind
Use synonyms
 of
jobs
Use synonyms
 anymore and
this
Linking Words
 could be a huge problem. A good example
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
Linking Words
 is the next situation, in Chile one of the most popular
jobs
Use synonyms
 is truck drivers because we have a lot of minerals, fruits and vegetables to export. Without
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
Use synonyms
jobs
Add a comma
jobs,
show examples
 the nation could across a very problematic economic situation.
Although
Linking Words
, these drives could develop new skills to find another
kind
Use synonyms
 of
hobs
Correct your spelling
jobs
show examples
 like technics, monitors or in security
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the government need to afford
this
Linking Words
. In conclusion, in the
nearly
Change the word
near
show examples
future
Use synonyms
 all the
cars
Use synonyms
 could
be drive
Change the verb form
be driven
be driving
show examples
for
Change preposition
by
show examples
 robots or artificial intelligence.
This
Linking Words
 could be a great idea, but governments and nations have the responsibility to
sure
Correct your spelling
ensure
show examples
 that all
people
Use synonyms
 can have a job.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction could be clearer by directly stating your opinion on whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. This sets a clearer expectation for the reader.
Coherence and Cohesion
In your paragraphs, ensure that each point flows smoothly to the next. Transition phrases or sentences would enhance the logical flow.
Task Achievement
Support each point with more specific examples or data, especially regarding the impact on jobs and the advancement of technology in driving.
Task Achievement
Proofread for small grammatical errors and typos (e.g., 'dissapear' should be 'disappear'; 'taxidrivers' should be 'taxi drivers', 'reallities' should be 'realities'). This will help in achieving greater clarity.
Task Achievement
You effectively identified both advantages and disadvantages of driverless vehicles, addressing the prompt comprehensively.
Task Achievement
Your essay includes relevant examples, especially in discussing the potential impact on employment, which is a significant point.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • driverless vehicles
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • increased safety
  • reduced traffic congestion
  • improved efficiency
  • accessibility
  • disabled
  • elderly
  • job displacement
  • privacy concerns
What to do next:
Look at other essays: