In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

There is no denying the fact that raising children in a proper manner in order to make them grow with great values is a goal and essential for most families.
While
Linking Words
it is a commonly held belief that we should tell our kids that if they work hard they can achieve anything, there is
also
Linking Words
an argument that opposes
this
Linking Words
idea.
This
Linking Words
essay will analyze
this
Linking Words
topic from both points of view and express my opinion. On one hand, telling kids
of
Change preposition
about
show examples
their ability to get what they plan for with consistent work could give them the passion and energy to gain what they need.
In other words
Linking Words
, digging the idea of ‘ work hard and you will achieve what you want’ can actually push them to achieve what they want.
In addition
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
idea may result, in some cases, in curing some types of illnesses.
For example
Linking Words
, cancer patients are likely to get treated with continuous encouragement from their doctors that they need to fight they are strong and they can fight their illness.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, telling children that they can do anything all the time may make them unrealistic. It is
also
Linking Words
possible to say that we should tell them they need to have solid plans to acquire their ambitions.
Moreover
Linking Words
, believing that they can achieve anything would lead them to be shocked and lose faith in themselves when finding out about the reality.
For instance
Linking Words
, a first-grade kid cannot be told that after a year he will be able to take the SAT because any effort he will make with his lack of knowledge would not help him pass the test.
Therefore
Linking Words
, telling the one-grade kid of his incapability of achieving impossible goals would support him in making him more rational and developing his planning skills. In conclusion, there are no easy answers to
this
Linking Words
question. On balance,
however
Linking Words
, I tend to believe that scaling between encouragement and making children conscious about the limits of the effort would make them good enough to start their creative lives.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
The introduction is well-structured, but it could be more engaging. Consider starting with a general statement about the importance of encouragement in childhood to capture the reader's interest.
task achievement
Your ideas are clear, but some points could be elaborated further for clarity. For instance, you mention a cancer patient's encouragement, but it could be beneficial to connect this idea back to children more explicitly.
coherence and cohesion
There are some awkward phrasings and grammatical inconsistencies. For instance, 'digging the idea of’ could be replaced with 'embracing the idea of'. Proofreading for such details will enhance the overall fluency of your writing.
task achievement
The examples provided are relevant but could be more detailed. Consider giving more context or additional examples to strengthen your arguments further.
task achievement
You effectively presented both points of view, which adds to the depth of your analysis. The balance between encouragement and realism is a nuanced perspective.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes the points well and provides a thoughtful stance, indicating a clear position on the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • achieve
  • try hard
  • positive mindset
  • self-belief
  • motivates
  • ambitious goals
  • resilience
  • determination
  • confidence
  • self-esteem
  • growth mindset
  • unrealistic expectations
  • disappointment
  • failure
  • effort
  • hard work
  • seek support
  • individual differences
  • abilities
  • capabilities
What to do next:
Look at other essays: