In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

There is no denying the fact that raising children in a proper manner in order to make them grow with great values is a goal and essential for most families.

While

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it is a commonly held belief that we should tell our kids that if they work hard they can achieve anything, there is

also

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an argument that opposes

this

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idea.

This

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essay will analyze

this

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topic from both points of view and express my opinion. On one hand, telling kids

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about

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their ability to get what they plan for with consistent work could give them the passion and energy to gain what they need.

In other words

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, digging the idea of ‘ work hard and you will achieve what you want’ can actually push them to achieve what they want.

In addition

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this

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idea may result, in some cases, in curing some types of illnesses.

For example

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, cancer patients are likely to get treated with continuous encouragement from their doctors that they need to fight they are strong and they can fight their illness.

On the other hand

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, telling children that they can do anything all the time may make them unrealistic. It is

also

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possible to say that we should tell them they need to have solid plans to acquire their ambitions.

Moreover

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, believing that they can achieve anything would lead them to be shocked and lose faith in themselves when finding out about the reality.

For instance

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, a first-grade kid cannot be told that after a year he will be able to take the SAT because any effort he will make with his lack of knowledge would not help him pass the test.

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, telling the one-grade kid of his incapability of achieving impossible goals would support him in making him more rational and developing his planning skills. In conclusion, there are no easy answers to

this

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question. On balance,

however

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, I tend to believe that scaling between encouragement and making children conscious about the limits of the effort would make them good enough to start their creative lives.

za4inaliTue May 06 2025

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coherence and cohesion

The introduction is well-structured, but it could be more engaging. Consider starting with a general statement about the importance of encouragement in childhood to capture the reader's interest.

task achievement

Your ideas are clear, but some points could be elaborated further for clarity. For instance, you mention a cancer patient's encouragement, but it could be beneficial to connect this idea back to children more explicitly.

coherence and cohesion

There are some awkward phrasings and grammatical inconsistencies. For instance, 'digging the idea of’ could be replaced with 'embracing the idea of'. Proofreading for such details will enhance the overall fluency of your writing.

task achievement

The examples provided are relevant but could be more detailed. Consider giving more context or additional examples to strengthen your arguments further.

task achievement

You effectively presented both points of view, which adds to the depth of your analysis. The balance between encouragement and realism is a nuanced perspective.

coherence and cohesion

Your conclusion summarizes the points well and provides a thoughtful stance, indicating a clear position on the topic.

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11
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
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detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

342 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

achieve
try hard
positive mindset
self-belief
motivates
ambitious goals
resilience
determination
confidence
self-esteem
growth mindset
unrealistic expectations
disappointment
failure
effort
hard work
seek support
individual differences
abilities
capabilities

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In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Some people believe that hard work and determination are the main requirements for success, while others say other factors lead to success. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give a reason for your example and include relevant examples from your knowledge and experience.

Companies invest millions of dollars in advertising to persuade consumers to buy their products. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages for the consumer?

It is impossible for governments to help all the people in the world who need helps, so governments should focus only on helping people in their own countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

'People who do not use social media networks* will always fall behind in career development opportunities.' To what extent do you feel that this is an accurate and important prediction?

Some people say that at all levels of education, from primary school to university, too much time is spent on learning facts and not enough on learning practical skills. Do you agree or disagree? Read my sample answer here. Reported on IELTS October 5th