In some places old age is valued, while in othe cultures youth is considered more important.Discuss both views and give your opinion

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It is believed that the old communities are the significant ones in some places,
while
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in other ethnic groups,
youth
Use synonyms
is deemed to be more valuable.
This
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essay believed that the youngster should be valued rather than stressing on the classics. It must be recognized that in some countries,
people
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prefer the older ones contributing to the important jobs.
This
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belief is based on the fact that the old person often gives wiser choices than the younger one, so they usually
be chosen for
Wrong verb form
choose
show examples
proper occupations
such
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as general directors or doctors.
Moreover
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, by giving these
people
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such
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jobs, they will be more trustworthy than the
youth
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, as they will do it more carefully and more precisely.
Conversely
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, it should be considered that many cultures
also
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put youngsters into their primary occupations because they will have the confidence and enthusiasm to do
such
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positions.
Furthermore
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, by relying on the adolescents, they will have the appropriate creativity to do the job.
For instance
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, many high-quality vacancies are being possessed by youngsters nowadays. The writer of
this
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essay argues that we should put our trust mainly on the
youth
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as they can be very careful and hospitality when giving them important jobs.
Besides
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, the
youth
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can adapt flexibly to the innovative ideas, which are put forward by firms and governments. In short, those countries which have a greater population of young
people
Use synonyms
would naturally have enough opportunities to develop both socially and economically. In conclusion, though there are utilitarian reasons to support elder movements, it is more important and principled to value younger
people
Use synonyms
.
This
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is already done in some cultures but should be more widespread.

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Task Achievement
Ensure you fully address all parts of the task by discussing both views equally and providing a clear opinion. Your essay leans significantly towards supporting youth, which might affect the balance of your discussion.
Coherence & Cohesion
Enhance your essay's structure by more clearly distinguishing between paragraphs that discuss different views. Consider starting each paragraph with a clear topic sentence that states the main idea you will discuss.
Task Achievement
To improve task achievement, incorporate a wider range of examples and evidence to support your points. Your argument would benefit from more specific examples and deeper analysis of each viewpoint.
Coherence & Cohesion
For higher coherence and cohesion, work on transitions between sentences and paragraphs. Use phrases that clearly connect ideas and ensure your essay flows smoothly from one point to the next.
Coherence & Cohesion
Make sure your essay's introduction and conclusion are both concise and informative. Clearly state the topic, outline your main points in the introduction, and summarize your argument effectively in the conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • repositories of knowledge
  • esteemed
  • insights
  • embedded
  • seeking advice
  • prioritizing
  • premium on innovation
  • dynamism
  • adaptability
  • technological advancements
  • entrepreneurs
  • pioneers
  • indispensable
  • stability
  • harmonious
  • progressive
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