IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some students opt to work or travel after finishing school and before entering university.However, many argue that work experience is more beneficial in adult life compared to traveling. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

It is argued that working
experience
Use synonyms
 is more important in adolescence life, especially
students
Change preposition
for students
show examples
 who have finished school and
prepare
Wrong verb form
are preparing
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 to enter university, compared to
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
.
Linking Words
This
Correct determiner usage
The
show examples
 writer of
this
Linking Words
 essay strongly agrees with the statement
due to
Linking Words
source
Correct article usage
the source
show examples
 of
income
Use synonyms
 and gaining
problem solving
Add a hyphen
problem-solving
show examples
 skills. It is vital to acknowledge that working
experience
Use synonyms
 will help students solve
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 in specific
circumstance
Fix the agreement mistake
circumstances
show examples
. It must be noted that working in
such
Linking Words
intermediate
Correct article usage
an intermediate
show examples
 job will provide for pupils the
experience
Use synonyms
 to navigate
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
similar challenges or
adeversities
Correct your spelling
adversities
 in life.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they will adjust quickly and avoid culture shock. Another advantage of having work
experience
Use synonyms
 is that to have a source of
income
Use synonyms
. It must be recognized that a sufficient
income
Use synonyms
 will help those who have graduated feel
relieve
Change the verb form
relieved
show examples
 and less
concern
Replace the word
concerned
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 about their expenses or budgets.
Additionally
Linking Words
, financial management is a crucial skill required in many companies which will be meaningful for
theirs
Correct the word
their
show examples
 application. In conclusion, working
experience
Use synonyms
 is more important and beneficial than
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
due to
Linking Words
 having
source
Add an article
a source
the source
show examples
 of
income
Use synonyms
 and gaining
problem solving
Add a hyphen
problem-solving
show examples
 skills.

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task achievement
Provide more detailed examples to support your main points, as this will strengthen your argument and meet the task requirements more effectively.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the overall structure of your paragraphs by ensuring that each one clearly focuses on a single idea. Transition phrases could also be used to improve the flow.
coherence and cohesion
Consider rephrasing some sentences for clarity and grammatical accuracy, as this will enhance the overall readability of your essay.
task achievement
You presented a clear stance on the topic in your introduction, which is essential for a good essay.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarized your main points, providing a clear closing statement on your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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