IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The best way for a government to prepare for the future is to invest in young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some humans think that the ideal plan for
prisedents
Correct your spelling
presidents
 to set up a bright future is to rely on
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
youth
Correct your spelling
young
show examples
 souls.
While
Linking Words
 there are many ways to plan for later, investing in young people
guarantee
Correct subject-verb agreement
guarantees
show examples
 that the country will prosper in the upcoming years. I Strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
 perspective and I will elaborate my reasons.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
goverments
Correct your spelling
governments
government
 must depend on young adults. These energetic men will thrive
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 country and play a substantial role in its
thrivesness
Correct your spelling
thriftiness
.
Furthermore
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, These males will be the leaders of the future which is a valid reason to empower them and evolve their knowledge.
For example
Linking Words
, If governments enabled these crowds to have a
high quality
Add a hyphen
high-quality
show examples
 education and to be
well trained
Add a hyphen
well-trained
show examples
 in different fields,
Moreover
Linking Words
, the impact in the future
will
Wrong verb form
would
show examples
 be significantly great. In Japan, souls who are in
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 twenties
cuntribute
Correct your spelling
contribute
contributed
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 every crucial
indusrty
Correct your spelling
industry
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, The
japaneese
Correct your spelling
Japanese
 as a nation has changed drastically to be one of the best locations around the world in terms of health sectors and strong infrastructure. Another point to consider is that Investing in
adolesent
Correct your spelling
adolescent
maintain
Correct subject-verb agreement
maintains
show examples
 the history and the
hiretage
Correct your spelling
heritage
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the area. In order to retain a good reputation
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 any place, you should let the young males and females
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
defend and
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
take responsibility and advocate for their ancestors.
For instance
Linking Words
, In 1998, In France,
governers
Correct your spelling
governors
show examples
 made a decision
of allocating
Change preposition
to allocate
show examples
 high school graduates to join the army.
Thus
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, these military men had the full energy and loyalty to knock down the enemies and
kept
Wrong verb form
keep
show examples
 the country safe and proud.
To sum up
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, despite people having diverse views, I believe that prime ministers must prioritize providing an amazing educational
sestym
Correct your spelling
system
 which will affect students
positevely
Correct your spelling
positively
. On top of
this
Linking Words
, every mayor should facilitate the process regarding joining the air forces so these forces can
save
Verb problem
apply
show examples
fight back and help their nation.

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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear position and addresses the topic, but some ideas could be better developed. Be sure to provide more depth for your reasoning to strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your paragraphs are well-organized and each one focuses on a single main idea. This will enhance the overall clarity and flow of the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Pay attention to grammar, punctuation, and spelling errors as they can affect the overall impression of your essay. Proofreading before submission can help catch these aspects.
task achievement
You effectively stated your position from the beginning, making it clear that you agree with the prompt's statement about investing in youth.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples to illustrate your points, particularly the example of Japan's youth contribution to various industries, which adds relevance to your argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovation
  • adaptability
  • entrepreneurship
  • demographics
  • socioeconomic
  • civic engagement
  • leadership
  • sustainable development
  • preventative measures
  • infrastructure
  • global competitiveness
  • skill development
  • vocational training
  • public policy
  • social welfare
  • human capital
  • technological literacy
  • inclusive growth
  • long-term planning
  • fiscal responsibility
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