Many young people do not enjoy competitive sports because they're afraid of losing. Therefore, sports competitions should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Sports
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play a pivotal role in the physical and mental development of youngsters.
However
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, some individuals claim that young generations avoid participating in
sports
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as they fear losing, leading to the suggestion that athletics
competitions
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had better be banned. I strongly disagree with
this
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viewpoint, since those
competitions
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make positive changes in teenage energy.
Firstly
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, let’s take a look at some
sports
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competitions
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that teach valuable life lesson that extends far beyond the playing field. Engaging in competitive
sports
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young people strengthen resilience, perseverance and the ability to handle failure. Losing a game or a match is an inevitable part of life and learning how to deal with it in a supportive environment can build character and emotional strength.
Moreover
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,
sports
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competitions
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enhance teamwork,discipline and goal-setting, all of which are vital skills for success in all fields. By working together towards a common objective, the youths/young folks learn the significance of collaboration and mutual support. The discipline offered to train and improve in
sports
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can be applied to academic pursuits and future careers. Without the motivation and structure that competition offers, young athletes can miss out on these crucial developmental opportunities. In conclusion,
while
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the fear of failure may discourage young bodies from involving in amusement,
sports
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contests are not an efficient solution.
Instead
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, individuals ought to concentrate on creating a supportive environment where young athletes can learn to overcome failure, develop essential life skills and maintain a healthy and active lifestyle.

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Task Achievement
Consider providing more specific examples or personal anecdotes to support your points more clearly. This strengthens the connection to your ideas and makes your argument more relatable.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that punctuation and spacing are consistent (e.g. 'teamwork,discipline' should have a space after the comma). This improves the clarity of your writing.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to paraphrase some of your phrases to avoid repetition and enhance lexical resource; for instance, use synonyms for 'young people' to maintain variety in your language.
Task Achievement
You clearly state your position in the introduction and maintain a consistent viewpoint throughout the essay, which is commendable for task response.
Task Achievement
Your points about resilience, teamwork, and life lessons are well-chosen and relevant, helping to support the main argument effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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