IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that social media platforms should be strictly regulated by governments to prevent the spread of misinformation To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that the
government
Use synonyms
 should
control
Use synonyms
 social
media
Use synonyms
 websites and apps to stop
people
Use synonyms
 from giving false
information
Use synonyms
. I agree with
this
Linking Words
 opinion because of two reasons.
Firstly
Linking Words
, hoax
news
Use synonyms
 or social
media
Use synonyms
 can have a detrimental effect. Currently, there are various types of
news
Use synonyms
 that
people
Use synonyms
 share with the intention of misinforming other
people
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 can happen because it is very easy to upload things on the internet, as there is no clear
control
Use synonyms
 or filter in place.
For example
Linking Words
, in my hometown, some
people
Use synonyms
 spread
news
Use synonyms
 on Facebook about a group of bandits currently terrorizing
people
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 hoax was intended to be just a prank on social
media
Use synonyms
, but in the long
run
Add a comma
run,
show examples
this
Linking Words
news
Use synonyms
 spread fear and made
people
Use synonyms
 afraid to do their activities.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
government
Use synonyms
 has the responsibility and authority to
control
Use synonyms
 the circulation of
information
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 means that they have to make sure that their citizens are well-informed with accurate
information
Use synonyms
. It is the citizens’ right to be free of hoaxes and false
information
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, the
government
Use synonyms
 has the power to exercise
control
Use synonyms
 over social
media
Use synonyms
 platforms. To illustrate, they can issue a regulation making social
media
Use synonyms
 platforms create better filters to prevent
people
Use synonyms
 from easily uploading hoax
news
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 will at least minimize the amount the spread of misinformation. In conclusion, I think that social
media
Use synonyms
 platforms should be regulated by the
government
Use synonyms
 to decrease the risk of misinformation.
This
Linking Words
 type of
information
Use synonyms
 can lead to negative things, and the
government
Use synonyms
 is the only one that can stop
this
Linking Words
 problem from becoming worse.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
While your introduction clearly states your stance, consider briefly highlighting the potential consequences of misinformation in your thesis statement to make your argument more compelling.
coherence and cohesion
Your points are logically structured, but transitions between paragraphs could be smoother. Consider using linking phrases for better coherence—for example, 'Firstly,' and 'Moreover,' can be complemented with additional transitional context.
task achievement
Your examples of misinformation are relevant and help to illustrate your points effectively. The story about the Facebook hoax adds a personal touch to your argument.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your argument and reinforces your stance on the issue, which is important for leaving a strong impression on the reader.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: