IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some people think that to lead a successful life, a university degree is important. Others believe that this is no longer true nowadays. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Some individuals consider a University certification as
a
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an
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 amazing bridge,leading to advancement. Other folks believe,
setting
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that setting
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on
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apply
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that way in the contemporary period is not
sophisticated
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a sophisticated
the sophisticated
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 method. In
this
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both perspectives before stating my
view point
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viewpoint
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.
Conversely
Linking Words
, proponents of champion knowledge. They advocate that bodies with high education achieve advancement regarding
to
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apply
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skills,
learning
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and learning
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 in
academy
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the academy
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during
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over
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 time. In effect,
contributes
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contribute
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 to fostering critical thinking skills and,
moreover
Linking Words
, they conventionally analyse exceptional opportunities, affording to promoting. To illustrate that, running a pharmacy,
for
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or
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 managing a drug store you must know about drugs and financial subjects,
that
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apply
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they
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 require academic knowledge.
Overall
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this
Linking Words
 view emphasizes the significance of degree.
On the other hand
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,
opposite
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the opposite
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 group,
they
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apply
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claim
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claims
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 that,
by
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through
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 modernization, individuals can learn
ins
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the ins
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 and outs of a job
with
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by
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utilizating
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utilising
 AI.
For instance
Linking Words
, you can ask from
virtual
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a virtual
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 mind about excellent methods of running a business. In
conclusion
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conclusion,
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this
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 idea focuses role of technology
on
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in
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 growth.
To sum up
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 both sides of the discussion raise crucial points, it seems to me that University provides crucial opportunities to progress.

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task achievement
Ensure that the introduction clearly states the topic and outlines both sides adequately. Currently, the phrasing is a bit unclear and could be simplified for better understanding.
task achievement
Enhance the development of ideas in each body paragraph. Make sure to provide clear examples and elaborate on the points made for a more comprehensive discussion.
coherence and cohesion
Use transition words and phrases to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs. This will help in achieving a more cohesive structure throughout your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Revise sentence structure and grammar to eliminate errors that may confuse the reader. Pay attention to punctuation and word choice for clarity and precision.
task achievement
The essay presents both viewpoints on the importance of a university degree.
task achievement
There is an effort to include examples to support points, which is a good practice.
task achievement
The conclusion summarises the key points and presents a personal opinion, which is essential in IELTS essays.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • benchmark
  • evolving landscape
  • credential
  • vocational training
  • entrepreneurship
  • digital literacy
  • autodidact
  • innovative approaches
  • skill set
  • networking
  • lifelong learning
  • meritocracy
  • practical experience
  • self-taught
  • upskilling
  • resilience
  • adaptive learning
  • critical thinking
  • soft skills
  • technological advancements
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