Some people believe that it is best to encourage children to have a healthy diet at school, while others believe that parents should be the ones to teach children to have a healthy diet. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

There is a debate over how
parents
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worry about
children
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’s health and eating habits, with some saying that
schools
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should teach students how to eat healthily,
while
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others argue that
this
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is the responsibility of
parents
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. In my opinion, both sides have an essential role, but
parents
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should take more responsibility. First of all,
schools
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are the best place to promote healthy eating because many
children
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eat meals there on a daily basis. If
schools
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offer healthy food and limit fast food and sweets, students may start to enjoy better meals.
Moreover
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, teachers can include topics
such
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as nutrition and a healthy lifestyle in science or physical education lessons.
For example
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, in my country, some
schools
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have started projects where students learn how to prepare simple healthy dishes, which makes them more interested in eating well.
However
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, many people believe that the family has a stronger impact on a child’s behaviour.
Parents
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choose what to buy at the market and what to cook for dinner. If they always give their
children
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fast food or sugary snacks, the child will get used to unhealthy habits.
In addition
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,
children
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often follow what their
parents
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do. If
parents
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eat fruits and vegetables every day,
children
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are more likely to do the same.
This
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is especially true in families where
parents
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spend a lot of time with their
children
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and guide their daily lives. In conclusion,
while
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schools
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can help
children
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learn about healthy diets,
parents
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have a huge role because they influence
children
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every day.

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task achievement
Consider elaborating more on your personal opinion in the conclusion. You mention that parents have a huge role, but it could be beneficial to specify why their role is more significant compared to schools.
coherence and cohesion
While your structure is clear, ensure that each paragraph flows logically into the next. You could include a transition sentence at the end of the first body paragraph to better connect to the second paragraph.
task achievement
In your examples, consider adding more details about the healthy projects in schools or specific statistics if available to support your points further. This would enhance the argument for schools' role in promoting healthy eating.
task achievement
Your essay presents a balanced view by discussing both sides of the argument, which is crucial for the task.
coherence and cohesion
You have a strong introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your argument well for the reader.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
What to do next:
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