IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some parents give their children everything that their children ask for or allow them to do whatever they want to do. Is this good for children? What could be consequences for these children when they grow up

Introduction: In recent years, it has become increasingly common for some
parents
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 to give their
children
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 whatever they ask for or allow them to do whatever they want.
While
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this
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 approach may have some immediate benefits, it
also
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 brings about several potential drawbacks.
This
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 essay will examine both the advantages and disadvantages of
this
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 parenting style and discuss the potential long-term consequences for
children
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. Body Paragraph 1: One potential benefit of
parents
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 granting their
children
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 unlimited freedom is that it allows them to explore their interests and passions. With fewer restrictions,
children
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 can engage in a variety of activities and discover what they truly enjoy.
This
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 can help them develop a sense of individuality and creativity, as they are not confined by rigid
rules
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 or expectations.
Consequently
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,
this
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 freedom may foster a more independent and self-assured attitude in
children
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. Body Paragraph 2:
However
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, there are
also
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 several significant disadvantages associated with
this
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 parenting style.
Firstly
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,
children
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 may become overly self-centered. If they are consistently allowed to act on their desires without considering the needs or feelings of others, they may fail to develop empathy and a sense of responsibility. Over time,
this
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 could lead to selfish behaviors, making it difficult for them to work cooperatively in social or professional environments.
Additionally
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,
children
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 who are not taught the importance of persistence may give up easily when faced with challenges, lacking the resilience necessary to overcome obstacles in adulthood. Body Paragraph 3: Another consequence of
this
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 approach is that
children
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 may grow up with little regard for
rules
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 and regulations. When
parents
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 fail to instill the value of
rules
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 and boundaries,
children
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 may struggle to understand the importance of following societal norms as they enter adulthood.
This
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 could result in difficulties in the workplace or even legal issues if they are unaware of the consequences of their actions. Conclusion: In conclusion,
while
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 allowing
children
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 to do whatever they want may offer some short-term advantages, the long-term consequences for their social development and understanding of
rules
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 can be quite severe.
Therefore
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, it is crucial that
parents
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 strike a balance between offering freedom and teaching the importance of responsibility and discipline. Approaching
this
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 matter with caution is essential to ensure
children
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's well-rounded growth.

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content
Add clear examples from life or study to back up what you say.
coherence
Use more linking words to show how ideas fit with each other.
structure
Give a strong view in the start and repeat it in the end.
lexis
Keep words simple and stay in the top 100 common words.
organization
Each paragraph should have one main idea and finish with a short wrap sentence.
structure
Clear plan: intro, 3 body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence
Good flow of ideas from one point to the next.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • indulgence
  • overindulgence
  • leniency
  • emotional resilience
  • rejection
  • entitlement
  • realistic expectations
  • self-regulated behavior
  • egocentric
  • financial management
  • professional relationships
  • collaboratively
  • criticism
  • appreciation
  • value
  • effort
What to do next:
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