IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Research indicates that the characteristics we are born with have much more influence on our personality and development that any experiences we may have in our life.

Everybody
up
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apply
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has their own unique
personality
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. Certain research results reveal that
characteristics
Correct article usage
the characteristics
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 that we are born with are more likely to influence our
personality
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. Personally, both have
equal
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an equal
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 influence on a
person
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's
personality
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.
To begin
Linking Words
with
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with,
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 natural characteristics determine how a
person
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 acts. Kindness is one of those, which is a common characteristic that
people
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 are born with. By being kind since you are a child, you learn to help others when they are in need. An extroverted
personality
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 is developed
as a result
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, making you more optimistic.
This
Linking Words
 factor can lead to a
person
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 becoming a good citizen of society.
However
Linking Words
, personal
experiences
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 can drastically change how a
person
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 acts. In the worst
circumstance
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circumstance,
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 it could lead to some taking their own life. Being abused is one of those
experiences
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, which is what many
people
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 face in their
family
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families
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. When abused, the
person
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 is put through many obstacles
from
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by
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 their own relatives.
As a result
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,
people
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that
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who
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 were once happy and cheerful could become afraid and introverted.
This
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 can lead to another mental illness related to how a
person
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think
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thinks
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 and
perceive
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perceives
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 actions. In conclusion,
while
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 characteristics can predict how a
person
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 will act when they grow up, personal
experiences
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 can shift their
personality
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 after being exposed to those
experiences
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 or trauma.
This
Linking Words
 shows that
experiences
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 that
people
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 can have a big impact on our
personality
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 as well.

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Task Achievement
Ensure to clearly state your position in the introduction and maintain it throughout the essay. This will help in achieving a more coherent argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on the logical flow of ideas. Use linking phrases to guide the reader through your points more smoothly.
Task Achievement
Provide more specific examples or case studies to illustrate your points, especially regarding the impact of experiences on personality. This will strengthen your argument.
Content
Your essay presents a balanced view, acknowledging both intrinsic characteristics and life experiences in shaping personality.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • nature vs. nurture debate
  • genetic inheritance
  • personality traits
  • behavior patterns
  • heritability
  • twins studies
  • malleable characteristics
  • upbringing
  • environmental influences
  • critical periods
  • language acquisition
  • worldview
  • innate traits
  • personal experiences
  • psychological development
  • epigenetics
  • adaptive behaviors
  • cultural imprinting
  • temperament
  • social conditioning
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