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Writing Samples
Band 7

Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on your children. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Using a
computer
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 every day can have more negative than positive effects on
children
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. I mostly agree with
this
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 statement, as excessive
computer
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 use can lead to health issues, social problems, and a lack of physical activity.
Firstly
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, spending many hours on a
computer
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 can harm
kids
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kids'
kid's
show examples
 health.
For example
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, staring at a screen for a long time can cause eye strain and headaches.
Also
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, sitting in one place for too long without movement can lead to poor posture and obesity. Many teenagers today prefer playing video games or watching videos rather than going outside and exercising.
Secondly
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, using a
computer
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 too much can reduce
children
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’s social skills.
Instead
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 of interacting with family or friends, they may spend time alone online.
As a result
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, they may struggle to communicate well in real-life situations.
For instance
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, I have seen
children
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 who find it difficult to make friends or express themselves clearly because they are used to chatting through screens.
However
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, there are
also
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 some positive effects. Computers can be helpful for education.
Children
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 can learn new things easily using the internet,
such
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 as watching science experiments or
practicing
Change the spelling
practising
show examples
 math. Educational games can
also
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 make learning fun.
For example
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, my younger cousin improved his English vocabulary by playing a language game on his tablet. In conclusion,
although
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 computers can support learning, their daily use can cause more harm than good if not controlled. Parents should guide their
children
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 to use computers for short periods and encourage other activities like reading, sports, or playing outside.
This
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 balance is important for healthy growth and development.

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task achievement
Expand on and support your main points with additional examples or explanations. This will enhance the depth of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to use more cohesive devices to help the flow between sentences and ideas. Consider using more linking words and phrases.
task achievement
You clearly presented your argument and included relevant examples to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure, and your ideas are easy to follow.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Screen time
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Physical inactivity
  • Cognitive development
  • Internet addiction
  • Cyberbullying
  • Inappropriate content
  • Digital literacy
  • Virtual learning environments
  • Parental controls
  • Moderation
  • Online safety
  • Tech-savvy
  • E-learning
  • Information technology
  • Eye strain
  • Social skills
  • Multitasking
  • Interactive education
  • Health repercussions
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