IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Nowadays, many people communicate using social media and the internet on a daily basis. However, this had led to an increase in online attacks and cyberbullying. What are some of the reasons why people take part in cyberbullying? What are the effects on the children and teenagers who are victims of cyberbullying?

In recent years, the rise of digital communication through social media and the internet has transformed the way
people
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 interact.
However
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,
this
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 shift has
also
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 led to a surge in online harassment, particularly cyberbullying.
This
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 essay will explore the key reasons why individuals engage in cyberbullying and the impact
this
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 has on young victims. One of the main reasons
people
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 participate in cyberbullying is the anonymity offered by the internet. When individuals feel they can hide behind a screen without facing real-world consequences, they may be more likely to behave aggressively or cruelly.
Additionally
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, peer pressure and the desire to gain social approval can drive teenagers to bully others online, often to appear dominant or popular within their group. In some cases, a lack of parental supervision or poor digital education contributes to young
people
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 not understanding the seriousness of their actions. The effects of cyberbullying on children and teenagers can be severe and long-lasting. Victims often experience emotional distress, including anxiety, depression, and a loss of self-esteem. These psychological impacts can affect their academic performance and lead to social withdrawal. In more extreme cases, persistent online abuse has been linked to self-harm and suicidal thoughts among adolescents.
Moreover
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, the constant nature of online platforms means that bullying can happen at any time, offering victims no safe space to escape. In conclusion, the rise in cyberbullying is largely driven by the anonymity of the internet, peer influence, and insufficient guidance. Its effects on young
people
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 are deeply damaging, highlighting the urgent need for increased awareness, education, and stronger online safety measures.

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task achievement
Consider exploring additional reasons for cyberbullying or providing more specific examples related to its effects.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure all points are equally developed and supported to enhance overall clarity and coherence.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with a well-defined introduction, body, and conclusion, making the argument easy to follow.
task achievement
Good identification of the key issues related to cyberbullying, showing a deep understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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