IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us buy things. Other people think that is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

There is no denying the fact that many
people
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 say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Others think that advertising is so common that it no longer pays
attention
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 to it .
This
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 essay will analyze
this
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 topic from both points of view. On the one hand, advertising has a huge effect in making
people
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 buy or purchase something, some
advertisements
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 use specific techniques to attract more customers to the company, and the
advertisements
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 may affect
people
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's emotions and make them buy the item in
this
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 advertisement.
In other words
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 , if an advertisement uses an unusual idea to attract
people
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, the item will be bought by a huge number of communities.
On the other hand
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, many nations believe that advertising is so common and they do not pay
attention
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 to it, because seeing lots of
advertisements
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 everywhere makes it something normal so
people
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 will not pay
attention
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 to it .Many
people
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 avoid seeing
advertisements
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 or even skip them on social media.
For example
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, if a person opens an application like Instagram or YouTube, there are always
advertisements
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, so he or she can activate
advertisements
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 remover or skip them. In conclusion, many
people
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 believe that advertising is very important and useful
while
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 others think that it is not useful and they do not pay
attention
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 to it. In my opinion, unusual
advertisements
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 will be a useful tool to increase the number of customers,
while
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 normal
advertisements
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 may not have a huge effect on the number of customers.

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task achievement
Expand on the points in your body paragraphs to provide more detail and examples. This could strengthen your argument and provide clearer connections between your points.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices to enhance the flow of your essay, making it easier for the reader to follow your ideas.
task achievement
You presented a clear discussion of both views, which is essential for fulfilling the task requirements.
coherence cohesion
The structure of your essay—introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion—is well-organized, making it easy to follow your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • persuade
  • promote
  • attract
  • influence
  • impact
  • consumerism
  • commercialism
  • market
  • product
  • brand
  • endorsement
  • manipulative
  • saturated
  • overwhelmed
  • repetitive
  • distracting
  • irrelevant
  • exaggerated
  • misleading
  • desensitized
What to do next:
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