Topic 3: Some people think young people should go to university to further their education while others think they should be encouraged to work as car mechanics or builders etc. to serve society. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. university to further their education - can lead to better jobs encouraged to work as car mechanics or builders -

Proponents believe that

young

Correct article usage

the young

show examples

generation should complete university studies,

while

Linking Words

opponents argue that they should work in fields that

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

limited workers,

such

Linking Words

as car technicians or builders to help society.

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss both sides and provide my opinion in

details

Fix the agreement mistake

detail

show examples

. University degrees can lead to better job opportunities.

In other words

Linking Words

, higher degree professionals have their

Fix the agreement mistake

job

show examples

jobs

Use synonyms

oportunities

Correct your spelling

opportunities

Change preposition

show examples

their specific fields which require university qualifications,

such

Linking Words

as doctors or teachers. It's a highly important part of performance maximisation to be a teacher in that

professions

Fix the agreement mistake

profession

show examples

Consequently

Linking Words

, students should go to

universites

Correct your spelling

universities

university

for their

further

Linking Words

study to be eligible for higher-salary

jobs

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

, despite

this

Linking Words

, I completely disagree with

this

Linking Words

and think that young individuals should work in those demanding

jobs

Use synonyms

to assist

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, some individuals believe that learners should continually change their career purpose depending on various factors including the demands

from

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society. They think that because of

excessive

Correct article usage

the excessive

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shortage of different

handy-man

Correct your spelling

handyman

show examples

job workers, young students can

full-fill

Correct your spelling

fulfil

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

this by

show examples

joining those fields just after graduating from

colleges

Fix the agreement mistake

college

show examples

and that can be done depending on how they feel at the time of completion of their high school degrees.

However

Linking Words

, many learners go beyond these basic adjustments to second

jobs

Use synonyms

and make changes to the communities by themselves.

For example

Linking Words

, many teachers in Bangladesh attributed to the additional

jobs

Use synonyms

as electricians

besides

Linking Words

their teaching professions in primary schools, and today many professionals throughout the globe have

choosen

Correct your spelling

chosen

a second job to contribute to the societies. In conclusion, it can be summarized that students have individual preferences for the shape of their careers.

While

Linking Words

they can go to universities for

further

Linking Words

education and that would assist

to get

Change preposition

in getting

show examples

jobs

Use synonyms

but

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

I strongly believe that if they work after school completion , they might be able to make

difference

Correct article usage

a difference

show examples

in their communities .

nabeshimajli17dhakaMon May 26 2025

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coherence and cohesion

Make sure to clearly present both views in separate paragraphs. This will help the reader understand your argument better.

task achievement

Provide more examples to support your ideas, as this will strengthen your argument.

task achievement

Avoid making strong statements without sufficient support. Ensure that your opinions are backed by clear reasoning.

task achievement

The essay addresses the topic and presents two sides of the argument.

coherence and cohesion

There is a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in structuring the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

311 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

university
education
jobs
opportunities
skills
society
work
mechanics
builders
careers
rewarding
training
hands-on
environment
essential
service
critical thinking
knowledge
field
young people

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Some people believe that school children should not be given homework by their teachers, whereas others argue that homework plays an important role in the education of children.

In cities, an increasing number of people do not know their neighbours. There is no longer sense of community. What do you think are the causes of this problem and suggest methods to solve it?

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